Ten Years is Hard To Forgive & Forget
by ULTRAnumb
Summary: Edward and Bella where childhood sweethearts. When they were 15 Bella moved away suddenly, and no one has heard from her since. When she returns 10 years later, will her friends be able to forgive her? Why did Bella leave? My 1st Fanfic.
1. Prologue

? POV

I sat on the plane, staring out of the window at the inky black sky around me. I let out a deep sigh.

I had no idea why I was doing this now. I could have come back before, I'd had seven years since I'd been free to do so, but I never had.

It wasn't like I had anything to go back to anyway. There was no way the one I'd left behind would still be there. We had always said, even when we were 15, that we would go away to LA or something to go to college. Away from that dead end little town. Still, I'd been having these strange dreams of me being there for months now.

I sighed again and turned to look at the beautiful girl beside me. She was curled up on the seat with her legs tucked up, fast asleep. Her long hair had fallen over her perfect face. I reached over to brush it back carefully, and then leant down to place a soft kiss on her forehead, while pulling the blanket back up over her.

I turned back to the window and found myself, as I always did when I was nervous or thoughtful, playing with the ring that resided on the third finger of my left hand. It had been there ever since I was 15, and now served as a reminder of what once was, what might have been, and the one who had given it to me.

I thought again of how things might have been, if not for interfering parents and aunts. Maybe, if I could have spoken to my sweetheart, we might have made a decision together. On the other hand, looking at the girl beside me, I knew that I would never have been able to choose a path that took her from me. That stopped me from having what I had in life now, no matter the pain it had caused me since.

I just wished that things could have been different. Like not having to leave my beloved without a word.

Whatever would happen while I was in Forks, good or bad, I hoped I might finally have peace from these dreams. Maybe I could finally let go of the past and move on.

Then again, did I really want to?


	2. Ghosts and Shocks

**B POV**

I woke up early the next morning, in the muted light filtering through the curtains of the hotel room.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was ten to seven in the morning. I yawned and stretched, thinking about what to do now that I was here. I lay there for ages, trying to go back to sleep, but I couldn't. I rolled over and glanced at the bed next to me, and looked at the beautiful little girl lying there. She looked so like her father that it scared me. In fact, she was so like him in every way that it actually did worry me. It certainly gave me plenty of exercise and excitement, trying to stop her getting herself into all kinds of trouble. I laughed as I thought about her cheekiness and daring.

_Regular little daredevil she is. So like her daddy._

I sat up and slid out of bed carefully. I walked slowly to the bathroom and washed my face and had a drink. I knew I couldn't sit around here all day. I needed to get out. I walked back into the bedroom and pulled on some clothes.

I crept over to the bed and sat down gently on the edge. I shook my daughters shoulder slightly, trying to wake her. She whimpered slightly as she stirred and then blinked up at me.

"Hi baby."

"Hi Momma." she let out a big yawn and stretched. "Is it time to get up already?"

"No. But I wanted to let you know that I'm going for a walk. You'll be ok for a little bit won't you?"

"Yah. We're in a hotel. It's not like anything much can happen, right?"

"No. It can't. But I wanted to let you know so that you didn't wake up to find me not here."

"Ok Momma."

"Go back to sleep baby, you had a long day yesterday."

"Uh huh."

I smiled at my little girl and leant down to kiss her gently on the head, before standing back up.

"I'll be back soon sweetie."

"Ok." she murmured sleepily.

By the time I reached the door, she was already fast asleep again. I crept out, and locked the door behind me.

I walked out of the hotel, and turned onto the main street. I hadn't been here in ten long years. I wondered if anyone I knew still lived here....I doubted it, most people left as soon as they could. My best friends and I had all made the promise that we would all leave as soon as possible. Although we had meant to leave when we went off to college.

_I left a lot sooner than that._

I missed my friends so much. I'd never even been able to contact them for three years. And then, when I would have been free to, I didn't bother. One, they would already hate me anyway, and two, they had all started college by then.

I'd never made any new friends really. I only had Jacob. We'd met at school, when I'd left Forks. He was the year below me and we'd been friends ever since. Still, he wasn't the best friend of my whole life. No. That was Edward Cullen. Always had been, always would be. Albeit, one that I hadn't seen or spoken to since I was 15, but still. We had been friends our whole lives. Our mothers had met when both Edward and I had been a few months old, and they had started meeting for coffee every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Edward and I were inseparable. Once we started school, we had never left each others' side and had always sworn that we would be friends for ever, and that we would never be apart. Sadly, that had been taken from us.

My other friends had been Edward's older brother, Emmett, his adopted sister Alice, our friend Rosalie Hale and my cousin Jasper Whitlock.

Emmett, Rose and Jasper had all been a year older than Edward, Alice and I. I always wondered what would have happened when they left for college the year before us, as Alice and Jasper had started dating when she was 14 and he was 15. Emmett and Rose had started dating the same year. I often wondered how long each couple had lasted. And if Edward had found someone after I had left. I'm sure he would have. Partly because he would have hated me for leaving, and partly because he was so handsome. No girl could ever resist Edward.

I sighed and carried on walking. Life could be so unfair. And so hurtful. I knew that better than most.

I was walking along by the old park, the place I had spent so many blissful childhood hours with my best friends. With Edward. As I walked towards the park, I could almost see the ghosts of the past. I saw my 5 year old self, playing on the slide, with Edward standing at the bottom to catch me. I saw my 10 year old self running along, tripping the whole way, with Edward chasing after me, sunlight glinting off of his bright bronze hair, laughing wildly and lunging for me. I saw my 15 year old self, lying on my back in the deep grass, with Edward propped up on one elbow next to me, his hand gently stroking my hair and my cheek, dipping down to kiss me gently.

I swallowed hard, and scrubbed the tears from my eyes.

_God I miss him so much._

As I watched, I saw two small children run along, chasing each other. One had dark curly hair, and the other had light blonde hair.

"Bronte! Austin! Come here!" I heard a man call.

The two boys turned round and ran back the way they had come, diving into the legs of the man who had called them. He laughed a bent down to tickle them.

"Crazy damned kids!" he laughed.

As he stepped out from under the trees, I gasped in shock when I saw his bronze hair.

The man raised his head and looked up. His pale green eyes met mine and he stared in shock.

_Edward!_

**Ok, so, that's the first chapter. Ummm...don't have much to say really, but, I hope you like this so far, I hope to update at least once a week.**

**Please review if you like it. ~ Ruusu.**


	3. The Truth

**B POV**

I stared in utter shock. I couldn't believe that Edward was here in Forks. That he was standing right before me. He was every bit as beautiful as he had been at 15. His hair was longer than it had been back then, falling down in front of his eyes. He looked as though he worked out. His muscles were toned and showed through his black t-shirt. His chin was covered with a light scruff. His eyes though, were unchanged. They were the same bright green as ever.

I walked forward slowly and hesitantly, barely even realising that I was doing it.

"Hello Edward." I murmured softly.

His jaw clenched tightly.

"Isabella." His voice was sharp.

I flinched, "It's been a long time."

"Has it? I hadn't noticed." He spat sarcastically.

I swallowed and licked my lips.

"I'm sorry."

"Why? Why are you sorry Isabella? For leaving? For never calling? For abandoning your friends?"

"All of it. I'm sorry for all of it."

"Yeah, well sorry doesn't change what you did. And it sure as hell doesn't mean anything." he hissed.

"I know." I whispered.

_I knew he would hate me. I knew that it would have hurt him._

My throat started to feel tight, and I felt tears prickling the back of my eyes.

"Why the hell are you even here? It's not like anyone wants you here."

I jumped in shock, as his words stung like a whip.

"Not many people where happy with you for what you did. I doubt they'll have changed their opinions much since. Some things leave wounds too deep to heal Isabella."

I struggled to control my breathing and tried not to cry.

"Edward....please. Just...let me explain."

"There's nothing to explain." he snarled angrily. "You didn't give a shit about us, or you wouldn't have left the way you did. That day, I gave you a promise ring, I told you I wanted to marry you one day, that the ring was a sign that I would ask you when we were ready, and you said yes! You accepted the ring and what it meant. If you didn't see yourself being with me that long, then you should have damn well said! Rather than just leaving that night without a word!"

"Please...you don't understand-"

"Yeah. I do. You're a bitch. You didn't give a shit who you hurt. You never got in touch, so you never have cared. Just...go back to wherever the fuck you've been all these years. No one around here wants you."

With that, he turned and walked away, stopping only to pick up the two boys.

"Come on you two. Let's get you home. Mama's gonna be worried."

"Edward!"

He didn't even turn around.

I fell to the ground and let the tears fall. Let the pain take over.

I cried for how his words had cut me, but mostly I cried for what I had done. For the hurt I'd caused. For what I'd lost forever.

I don't know how long I sat there sobbing, my arms wrapped around myself, but I suddenly felt a hand touch my shoulder gently.

"Ma'am?" a soft voice, with a Southern twang asked, "Ma'am, are you alright?"

I took a great gulp of air and lifted my head slowly.

I was met with a pair of bright, kind blue eyes. As I took in the rest of the face, I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Jasper!"

"Bella!" he cried in shock, jumping back slightly.

"Oh Jasper!" I sobbed, flinging my arms around my dear cousin.

He stiffened under my touch and didn't hug me back.

"Oh God." I whispered, "Oh God he was right! No one wants me! No one wants me here!"

I let go of Jasper and fell back to the ground, sobs tearing from my chest.

"Who was right?"

"Edward!" I wailed is misery.

"You've seen Edward?!"

"Y...yeah, just...just, now. He...he...said...that...no...no one...here...wants...me! Th...that every...everyone hates me!"

I heard Jasper take a deep breath.

"Bella," he started, "Bella, you have no idea how much you hurt people here. Myself included. You just...left. Without telling anyone. Even me, and I'm your cousin! You hurt so many people. Everyone was devastated when you left. We didn't know what had happened! Rose was terrified that something had happened to you. That there had been some sort of accident and we hadn't been told!"

"I'm sorry. I'm _so_ sorry!"

"Why Bells?" his voice was twisted with confusion and pain, "Why did you leave without talking to anyone?!"

"I didn't have a choice! Charlie and Aunt Sarah made me!"

"What the fuck do you mean they made you?!"

"I wanted to speak to Edward...I was going to...that night...I had to talk to him first...before anyone else...but Sarah...she was so interfering! She was looking through my room...she looked in the bin in my bathroom.....she...Oh God she saw it!"

"What? Saw what? Bella what the hell are you talking about?!"

"The test! She saw the test!"

"What test Bella?"

"The pregnancy test!" I cried.

I heard his sharp intake of breath. I looked up at him, and saw him opening and closing his mouth.

"Preg....pregnancy test?" he stuttered.

I nodded weakly. "Yeah." I breathed.

Jasper dropped to his knees in front of me. He reached out and put his hand under my chin and made me look at him.

"You were pregnant?" he whispered.

"Yeah."

"Was it...I mean...it was...Edward's. Right?"

"Of course it was! What the hell do you think of me?! Of course it was fucking Edward's! Whatever you may think of me, I am not a slut, and I would never have cheated on Edward!"

"Ok! I'm sorry! I know you aren't like that. I'm just...a little stunned right now..." he held up his hands in defence.

"Pregnant" he breathed, mostly to himself.

"Pregnant." I agreed.

Jasper looked at me thoughtfully.

"That's why you left? Because you were pregnant?"

"I didn't leave."

"You-"

"I didn't _leave_! I was sent away! I was forced to go and live with Aunt Sarah in Orlando! That day....I couldn't tell Edward in front of you guys. I needed to talk to him alone. I was going to call him and ask him to sneak over to mine that night. But I got home and found all my bags packed. They told me that I was a disappointment. That I had let myself and them down. That I wasn't allowed to see 'that boy' ever again. They told me that I was going to live with Sarah and that I was either going to have an abortion, or put the baby up for adoption as soon as it was born."

I paused to take a breath and calm myself. I had never told anyone this. Even Jacob didn't know about my past.

"They had to drag me to the car literally kicking and screaming. I actually kicked Charlie in the face. I was screaming for Edward, even though he was nowhere near to hear me. I was screaming for you and Emmett too. Even Alice and Rose! Anyone who would have stopped me being taken away. I couldn't even call, because Sarah pulled my phone out of my pocket and dropped it in the road. When she pulled away she ran over it. I tried to write. I wrote so many times! I thought that no one wanted to write back."

"We never got any letters Bella. No one did. That's what hurt so much. Not a word."

"I know. I later found out that Sarah had paid the mailman to give any letters with a Forks address to her or to destroy them! I didn't find that out until I was 18. By that time, I knew that none of you would believe what had happened, or that you would just throw away any letters from me. Besides, everyone would have been away at college."

Jasper stared at me for a long moment before he leant forward and grabbed hold of me. He pulled me into his arms and held me tight. It was nice, to feel my cousins arms around me, but I wished it was another set of arms.

"Oh Bella. I had no idea. Everyone had theories about why you disappeared, but no one would have ever thought of that. Oh honey, I'm so sorry!"

"Jasper....I've missed you _so_ much! I've missed you all so much!"

"Shhh" he muttered. "Shhh. It's ok. It's ok darlin'. It's all going to be ok. I've missed you too, but I've got you. I've got you honey. I'm here."

I felt the tears start to fall again, but this time they were a mix of sad and happy tears. Sad, that I had hurt people, that Edward wanted nothing to do with me, but happy because Jasper had listened. Had believed me and had maybe forgiven me, now that he knew the truth.

We sat there for ages, before something occurred to Jasper.

"Bella, what happened to the baby? Did they make you have an abortion?"

"No."

"They made you give it up." he said sadly, nodding.

"They tried."

He cocked his head to one side and looked at me in confusion.

"What-"

"They tried to make me give her up. But I wouldn't. I refused to."

"Her?! You mean you kept it?!"

"Yeah. I kept her. I wouldn't let her go. I told Sarah that if she tried to make me do so, that I would just fight her, and anyone else who tried to take me baby from me."

"You kept it....her. At 15?"

"16, by the time she was born."

"God. What....what did you call her?"

I smiled slightly at the overly casual way he asked me.

"Toni. Antonia. After Edward."

"Antonia. Edward Anthony."

"Yeah. I figured calling her 'Edwina' was a little harsh."

Jasper met my eyes for a few seconds, and then burst out laughing. I couldn't help but join him. Jasper's mood always had rubbed off on everyone around him. His laughter was just so infectious.

"Yeah," he gasped, trying to catch his breath and control his laughter. "Yeah, I think that would have been a bit cruel."

"Exactly, but she's still named after Edward, albeit his middle name. Her full name is Antonia Emallie Jasmine Cullen."

"Emily?"

"Em-al-lie. It was a combination of Emmett, Alice, and Rosalie."

"Ah. So she's named after everyone but me." he grinned to let me know that he was messing around.

"But she is named after you. Jasmine was after you. It's kind of the female version of your name, and it was your nickname when we were little. Remember?"

He thought about it a moment. "Oh yeah. Cos Emmett said I was a girl for being able to know how people were feeling and for being emotional."

"Yep. He refused to call you by your real name for months after."

"So you named her after the whole gang?"

"Yeah. I missed you all so much, and I wanted a way to honour you all. As soon as I was sent away, I picked the name Antonia if the baby was a girl."

"What about if it was a boy?"

"Any of Edward's names."

"Even Masen?"

"Yep. Even Masen." I laughed. "There was no doubt in my mind that I was going to name the baby after him in some way."

"So....where is she?"

"At the hotel. She was really tired, but I needed to get out for a bit. I didn't think I'd run into anyone. Especially this early in the morning."

"Can I....can I meet her?" he asked nervously.

"Of course. I've wished that everyone could meet her since I was taken away. I just wish....that she could have met Edward. But he wants nothing to do with me. He won't listen. I'd never get him to listen. He'd never believe me anyway, even if I did get him to listen for a few minutes."

"He will. He'll come round. He was just....well, heartbroken when you left. He couldn't understand why you did it. He loved you so much, and he thought you felt the same."

"I did. I really did. I still do. I've never stopped loving him. But....he'll never really be a part of Toni's life. Not when he's moved on."

"Moved on?"

"Yeah. I saw him with his kids."

"His kids?! Bella...Edward doesn't have any kids. Well, that he or anyone else, except me, knows of anyway."

"But I saw him with two little boys....Bronte and Austin he called them...."

"Oh! Oh, no. No they aren't his. Ronnie and Aus are Emmett and Rose's kids."

"Emmett and Rose?! They have kids together?"

"Yeah. They're married. They have been since they were 20."

"Oh my god...I hoped they would have lasted...but I didn't think....people don't often stay with their first love..."

"Actually, apparently here we do. Mike and Jess got married. So did Tyler and Lauren. And Ben and Angela. And me and Alice."

"You and Alice are married?!"

"No. Not yet. Engaged. We didn't feel the need to get married when we had just finished college."

"Oh my god! I can't believe it! I'm so glad you lot stayed together!"

"Yeah. But there should never have been an odd one out in our group."

I frowned in confusion.

"Edward." Jasper clarified.

"Edward? How is he the odd one out?"

"The only one not paired up with someone."

"He isn't dating anyone?"

"He hasn't dated anyone since you. He's never moved on Bella. It destroyed him when you left. He never wanted anyone else. Only you."

"He...only wanted...me? But, when I didn't come back, when he started hating me, why didn't he date anyone else then?"

"He's never hated you Bella. He's resented you, yes, for leaving the way you did, for breaking his heart, but he's never hated you. He's always only ever loved you honey."

"Then...why wouldn't he speak to me? Why wouldn't he listen to me?!"

"I don't know what was going through his head, but maybe he was just scared of being hurt again...or scared that you have moved on. I mean, you have been gone for 10 years. It's natural that you have."

"But I haven't. I haven't moved on. I couldn't."

"But you've got a ring on."

"Huh?"

"A ring. A wedding ring."

I looked down at my hand. "No! God no. This is the ring he gave me! The promise ring that he gave me the day I was sent away."

"You...you still have it? You still wear it?"

"Yeah. I've only ever taken it off once, and that was to get it resized so that I could keep wearing it as I got older."

"Oh god. You really do still love him!"

"I do. I always have. I nearly died when I was taken away from him. Even though I needed to be healthy for my unborn baby, I couldn't make myself eat properly for so long. It was only when the doctor sent me to rehab because I was on the verge of anorexia and manic depression, that I managed to get any better. Sarah certainly never helped. She said it was my fault, and that I was just a silly little girl."

I felt the tears rolling down my face again as I remembered the pain and loneliness I had suffered in my life after Edward.

"Oh Bella. Darlin'! I'm so sorry! I can't believe life was so bad for you. I don't hold anything against you now. Not now that I know how much you suffered all this time."

He wrapped me in his arms again and held me tightly. For the first time in ten years, I felt safe and loved. I felt like I was coming home.

Jasper and I finally went our separate ways, with the promise that I go to his and Alice's that night for dinner with Toni. I had been lucky that Jasper was so understanding, but I couldn't assume that Alice would be the same. It was her brother's heart I had broken, after all.

**Sorry there was so much dialogue in this chapter. A lot of things needed to be out in the open and confessed. So, now we know what happened, and why Bella left. Please review. I love that shit. It makes me very happy and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! ^_^**

**~ Ruusu.**

**(N.B, also, this story is only rated M for lots of bad language. I'm not confident writing lemons, so I'm afraid there won't be any. If anyone is any good at writing them, and would be able to write a couple for later in the story, please message me. Thanks.)**


	4. GBH and Little Charmers!

**B POV**

I went back to the hotel and found Toni sitting on the bed watching TV with a box of cereal in front of her.

"Sweetie, you know that's almost entirely sugar, right?" I asked, walking over to her and kissing her on the head.

"Yep. Sure do."

I sighed. That girl really didn't need any more sugar in her system. She was crazy enough without it. She was like a little fucking energizer bunny! She just didn't sit still. And I'd grown up with Alice. I knew about boundless energy. The fact that she seemed to have inherited her father's daring and sense of adventure didn't help either. At least Alice had just been hyper. Toni was both hyper and adventurous. It was a pretty scary combination sometimes. She loved climbing trees and jumping out of them. She loved playing on the swings and swinging until she either reached the top and jumped off, or actually went over the top. Even when she had only been three I had been constantly running after her and having to stop her climbing on everything. I wished I had had the people I loved around me to help look after her. I loved her with all my heart, but there were times when I really needed a break. Jake was alright, but he didn't have the energy or patience to look after her for long.

"Baby, we're gonna go and have dinner with two of Mommy's old friends tonight ok?"

"Ok Mommy. Do I need to put something smart on?"

It didn't escape my notice that she said the word 'smart' as though it was a dirty word. I laughed at her aversion to all things tidy. She was much happier in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt than in a dress.

"Well, we want to make a good impression, and you looking like a little scruff bag as you usually do won't be very good, don't you think?" I told her, reaching out and ruffling her hair. She giggled as she tried to push me away.

"Mom! Stop it! Ok. Ummm....can I please wear my khaki skirt and my yellow and grey hoodie with the three quarter sleeves?"

"Hmmm. That sounds ok. But what shoes?"

Toni just grinned at me. For a nine year old girl, Toni was very set on being different and standing out from the crowd, but not in the way the little miss America wannabes did.

"Oh good lord. Not those damn Doc Martins again?!"

Toni just giggled and wiggled her little feet at me.

So I did the only thing I could in that situation. I grabbed her foot and started tickling it.

"Argh! Mom! No! Get off!" she squealed, laughing hysterically.

"You," I growled, "are the cheekiest, strangest, craziest, sweetest, cuddliest, most beautiful little girl in the whole world!"

"Only to you, Momma." she chuckled, sitting up and giving me a great big kiss on the cheek.

"No!" I gasped, indignant. "Everyone who meets you knows that! And Momma's friends will love you too."

"I hope so. They are ones you haven't seen since before I was born, right?"

"Yeah baby. They are."

Antonia didn't know what had happened that made me not live near my old friends or meant that her daddy hadn't ever been a part of her life. But she knew that I had lived away from everyone. She always wondered why, and I told her that I would tell her one day, but only when she was older.

She also knew that her father didn't even know of her existence. She only knew because I had had to tell her one day, when she had been crying about wanting to see her daddy, and why he didn't love her.

She had said ever since that she wished she could meet him and tell him who she was, and that even though he had never been in her life, that she loved him, and didn't blame him for not being there.

It damn well broke my heart to hear that.

I smiled down at her and stroked her hair. Her hair was so like Edward's. It was exactly the same colour as his, though it fell to the middle of her back. It was just as wild and untameable as his too. She had the same pale, perfect skin, the same straight nose, her face was a similar shape too only her jaw was a little finer, not quite so sharp and square. And her eyes. Her eyes were identical as his. Just as bright and honest and emotional.

It hurt just how much like him she was. She looked nothing like me, except maybe her lips, but that was it. No one who knew Edward could ever doubt that she was his. It was an indisputable fact once you saw her.

I didn't want to risk going out again that day and risk running into Edward again. I didn't think I could face the pain and anger in his eyes again anytime soon, so we just spent the day playing and watching TV.

At six o'clock we were pretty much ready to go. Toni looked her usual adorable self with her long bronze hair pulled into pigtails that feel over her shoulders, wearing her knee length khaki shirt, yellow and grey stripped hoodie, knee high yellow socks and scuffed up mini black Doc Martins. God, it was actually scary how like Edward she was, even though she had never met him, or even seen any pictures of him, since all pictures of him had been in my bedroom here in Forks and on my phone. He always did like to stand out and dress how he wanted to, not how people thought he should. Not to mention the obsession he had with Doc Martins too.

_Hmm. I didn't think dress sense and shoe obsessions were a genetic thing. Toni really is Edward's daughter. Through and through._

Fork wasn't a big place and it was a mild evening, so we walked to Jasper and Alice's. I was wary as we walked up the path to the front door. I raised my hand and knocked on the door.

It flew open a moment later and there stood Alice. Just like Edward and Jasper, she was more or less unchanged, with the exception of her black hair which was now in a chin length bob rather than the old pixie cut she favoured as a teenager.

She didn't look bubbly and happy as she always had though. In fact, she looked extremely pissed.

"YOU!" she screamed, "YOU BITCH! HOW DARE YOU COME HERE?!"

She reached out her small hand and slapped me across the face with all the strength she could muster.

I didn't even try to stop her. As far as I was concerned, I deserved it. She had been one of my best friends, and I hadn't spoken to her in ten years.

I heard a startled gasp behind me from my daughter. I glanced at her and then back to Alice just as she raised her hand a second time.

Jasper came to the door then and grabbed her hand and put his arm around her waist.

"Alice, darlin', calm down."

"DON'T YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS? WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING HERE?!"

"She's here because I asked her darlin'."

"WHAT?!"

"Alice, listen to me. Just take a deep breath. I found her in the park, sobbing her heart out-"

"GOOD! She should cry! She made my brother cry so much! She broke his heart!"

"I know darlin', I know. But you need to hear what she has to say. And it shouldn't be said here on the front step."

"She is NOT coming in my house!"

"Alice, she....she had a baby-"

"So the fuck what?!"

"Darlin' it's....the baby.... she's Edward's."

"BULLSHIT!"

I took a deep breath and turned to my daughter.

"Toni, come stand by Momma."

She walked up slowly, eyeing Alice warily.

"Alice," her eyes flashed to mine angrily. "Alice, this is my daughter, Toni."

Alice looked down at the little girl by my side. Her eyes widened in shock and disbelieve.

Her eyes flew back to mine in utter disbelieve.

"Alice, look at her. Look at my little girl."

She did.

"Whose is she Alice? Whose daughter is she?"

Alice shook her head, trying to deny what her eyes were telling her.

"Alice, whose is she?"

She opened her mouth and then closed it again.

"Say it, Alice. Out loud. Say it." (**Sorry, couldn't resist slipping that in! Heehee!)**

"Edward's...." she breathed.

I nodded.

Jasper gazed at Toni and then smiled at me slowly.

"She really is Edward's. God, she looks so like him!"

"I know. It's kind of scary isn't it?"

Alice was breathing heavily, looking at Toni. Her eyes met mine, and I saw tears there.

"You were pregnant? And you left. You broke Edward's heart and took his baby away from him?"

"No Alice. I didn't take her away. My Aunt Sarah found out before I could tell Edward."

I held her gaze, willing her to understand. She had known what my Aunt was like. She should be able to figure it out. I watched her eyes as she realized what I was trying to say.

"Bella," she whispered. "Oh Bella! I'm so sorry!"

She darted forwards and flung her thin arms around me. She sobbed into my neck.

I felt my own tears start to fall as I held my old friend tightly.

We finally pulled apart and she led me into the house.

"Hey Toni." I heard Jasper say, in his soothing, calming voice. "I'm Jasper, but you can call me Jazz if you like. I'm your mommy's cousin. It's nice to meet you. Shall we go inside and sit down?"

Toni showed just how like her father she really was then, smiling up at Jasper and answering him with the utmost politeness.

"Hello Jasper. Momma always talked about you, and said that she wished I could meet you one day, so I'm glad that I finally get to."

Jasper stared at her for a moment before smiling again and taking her hand to lead her in doors.

"Wow," he whispered to me as he followed us, "Talk about a little charmer."

"Oh yeah. Just like her father. And that's not something I could teach her. Politeness, yes. Charm, no. That's all inherent."

We walked into the living area and sat down on the sofas.

"So....what happened, Bella? Why did you leave without a word?"

I glanced at Toni, unwilling to talk about that in front of her.

Jasper, being Jasper, picked up on my unease instantly, and stood up.

"Toni, we've got a goat outside. Would you like to come and see him?"

Antonia looked up at me, and at my encouraging nod, she smiled up at Jasper and told him that she would like that.

After they walked out of the back door and Jasper had closed it behind them, I took a deep breath and told Alice everything that I had already told Jasper.

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**Ok, so, what did you think? I know that Alice was quite out of character in this chapter, but she was hurt after Bella left, and she was there to see what it did to Edward too. She will be the Alice we know and love from now on though. Coming up in the next chapter, Emmett and Rosalie discover that Bella is back in town!**


	5. Reconciliations & Confessions

**B POV**

"Why did you never contact anyone again?" Alice asked me, "I mean I get that you couldn't while you still had to live with your aunt, but why not after?"

"Because I thought it was too late. That you would all hate me. And.....I was scared that Edward would have already moved on. Three years is a long time to be alone."

"Ten years is longer. And yet, he still hasn't moved on from you, sweetie. He once told me that he didn't think his heart remembered how to love after you, because all it ever did love _was you_."

I stared at the floor and felt the tears roll down my cheeks.

"Bella, if you had come back then, after only three years and explained it, my brother would have forgiven you in a second. But.....ten years.....honey....that's a lot harder to forgive."

"I know," I murmured brokenly. "But Alice, please believe me when I say, I have _never_ stopped loving him. That's why I was so scared to come back. Because I still loved him more than life, and I don't think I could have survived seeing him happy with someone else. I'm not exaggerating. I honestly would have given up the will to live. And I knew that I needed to live. For Toni. It was easier to not know if he had moved on or not."

Alice sighed and slid her arms around me. We sat there for a short time, just being the friends we used to be. Holding and comforting each other.

"I missed you Bella. We all did." she whispered softly.

"I missed you all too. I missed your energy and even your shopping addiction! I missed Jazz and his calm, casual demeanour. I missed Em and his childishness. I missed Rose and her loyalty. Hell, I even missed her bitchieness! And Edward....I just missed _him_. Everything about him. I missed Edward my _boyfriend_. I missed Edward my _best friend_. God, I love you all, but I missed Edward _so_ much that I really thought I'd die from the pain."

Alice hugged me tightly and promised that it would all get better.

We sat there and chatted about old times. About how great things had been before I had left. She also told me what had happened to everyone since. Though she left out anything concerning Edward.

Rose and Emmett had stayed together since they had started dating and had gotten engaged on their graduation day. They had decided to wait a while before getting married though and had spent two years at college first. Rose was currently teaching at Forks High, and Emmett was training to be a doctor and was going to work at the same hospital as their father, Carlisle.

Then, just over two years ago, they had called everyone for dinner and had told the family that they were going to have a baby. Rose was over the moon when they found out they were in fact having twins. They had named the two boys Bronte and Austen. Although they had never told Edward, they had admitted to everyone else that it had been in honour of me. They had named them such in remembrance of my love of the classic authors. Rose had been the one to suggest it. Emmett had loved the idea and they had spent ages trying to find two names that they could used. They had also (again without telling Edward) named me as the twins godmother, albeit an absent one.

I felt my throat tighten at this knowledge, and had to struggle to not break down.

Although they had both been hurt by my disappearance, neither had believed that I had chosen to. They had remained adamant that something had happened that had meant I had to leave. Or that something had happened to me, though they both shied away from that awful scenario.

Alice told me that she and Jasper had remained the same as Rose and Emmett, and had stayed together ever since. They were currently engaged, but the wedding wasn't until next year. They were planning on her being pregnant within a year after they married.

Just as I was about to ask her to tell me at least something about Edward when there was knock at the door. Alice looked at me apologetically and went to answer it.

"Alice," I heard someone say, "Did you hear? Have you spoken to Edward?! Bella's back in town! He saw her at the park while he was there with Ronnie and Aus to play! Is it true? I mean...he wasn't just seeing things ag-"

"Yeah. It's true. Come in. You need...just come in. Quickly." I heard Alice reply.

She came rushing back into the living room with four people in tow. Emmett and Rosalie and their two sons.

Rose and Emmett stared at me in shock, their mouths hanging open when they spotted me, while their sons toddled off into a corner where some toys sat.

"Bella..."Rose breathed.

She ran over to me grabbed hold of me in a hug.

"Oh thank god! When you disappeared we thought that maybe...something had happened to you! That there had been an accident that we didn't know about!"

She then pulled back, holding me at arm's length, and then slapped me.

"You bitch! You stupid, stupid bitch! Why did you never call?! We were so worried! We couldn't understand why you just left without calling anyone! And Edward! Why would you do that to him?! You'd been dating since you were thirteen! You were both so happy and in love! Why did you leave him like that?!"

Emmett, who had been silent up till now, came up behind is wife and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Rose, honey. Give her a chance to speak. You can't expect to know what really happened if you just keep yammering away about how what she did was wrong."

He then turned to look at me and smiled sadly.

"Hello again Bells." he said softly, before pulling me into a tight hug.

When he finally released me he said, "Ok. Now answer Rose's questions. Why did you leave?"

I took a breath and once again told the story of why I had left so suddenly ten years before.

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A few hours later, we were all sitting around the table enjoying dinner. During my third retelling of what had happened, Jasper had come back in from the garden with Toni. Emmett had fallen off of the sofa in shock when he saw her and Rose had looked as though she were about to faint. Neither of them had been able to deny that she was Edward's.

While us adults ate and laughed, Toni sat on the floor playing with the twins (who, by the way, where utterly adorable, a perfect combination of Rose and Em.)

Once we had finished eating, the guys went to play with the kids, while us girls went out into the kitchen to clean up. While there, I finally asked Alice to tell me about what Edward had been doing since I left.

She and Rose exchanged worried glances and took a deep breath.

Rose turned to me and started. "Bella, you need to understand that you had a new reason to live after Edward, even if it didn't stop the separation from hurting, you still had to suck it up and just....keep on going."

She looked to Alice to continue.

"Bella....you leaving hurt us all, but Edward the most. There's something about him....I shouldn't tell you...it should come from him, but I don't know if he would be able to tell you....see....Bella, he kept hoping that you would come back. He refused to believe that you had really gone. He kept saying 'She'll come back. She will come back. She has to come back.' He was....in denial. Completely. Then, about five months after you left, he finally broke down. He realised that you really were gone. That you weren't going to come back and just knock on our door. And he....he...."

She stopped and took a deep breath and looked at me with tears falling from her blue eyes.

"Alice, he what?"

She shook her head and covered her mouth to hold in her sobs. I looked at Rose and saw she was trying to control her tears too.

She took a breath and looked straight at me.

"Bella, he....he....Oh god, he tried to kill himself!"

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**H.O.L.Y S.H.I.T!!!!! OMG! Poor Edward! *hugs***

**Well, ok, now Bella has reconciled with her four friends, but not the one she wants to most. Sorry to say, but it will be a couple of chapters before that happens yet. Alice and Rosalie still need to explain that last comment and tell Bella what happened. Then we will be having a chapter in Edward's point of view, and see his take on things! (nothing from since Bella left really, more an overview , but focusing on the here and now. What he makes of her coming back after all this time.)**


	6. Hallucinations & Heartache

**B POV**

I felt sick. Everything was rushing. The blood was rushing to my head. The air was rushing around me. The pain was rushing through me.

_He tried to kill himself._

Edward. My Edward. My soul. My heart. _My love_. He tried to end his life. Because of me. Because I left without speaking to him. Because I never contacted him.

And at the same time I started getting better. Five months after I was torn away from him. All the times I wanted to die. All the times I wished my life would end. I finally woke up to the fact that I needed to live. Even if it was only for my unborn child. Just when I finally tried to start my life again, he tried to end his.

_I almost killed him. I hurt him so much that he wanted to end his life. Wanted to die. No wonder he hates me!_

And then, everything went black.

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I opened my eyes slowly. Everything was fuzzy and my head hurt.

"About time you woke up darlin'." I heard from above me. Jasper. "You gave us all a fright cousin."

"Hmmm....what happened?" I croaked weakly.

"You passed out, Bells." That was Emmett.

"Passed out?"

"Yeah. Ali and Rose told you about....about Edward. Trying to kill himself."

I suddenly remembered what had transpired before everything went black.

"Oh god! Oh god! It was my fault! He tried to kill himself because of me!"

I burst into tears and let out all the pain and guilt I felt for what I had done. Albeit unintentionally. Jasper wrapped his arms around me and held me to him.

"What....what...happened? How...did he....how did he....?"

"How did he do it?" Rose finished for me quietly.

"Yeah."

Emmett sighed sadly and looked down at the floor.

"I was the one who found him. I've never....never been so scared. We were at school. He said he wasn't feeling well that day, so he was at home. We got to lunch and I realized that I had left my wallet at home. I didn't want to make anyone else pay for it, even though they all offered. It's lucky I didn't. The others decided to come with me, just to go for the drive. They stayed in the car while I went up to my room to find my wallet. I decided to check on Edward, to see if he needed anything. I walked into his room, but he wasn't there. I called him and then went downstairs. I went to the kitchen to write him a note, figuring he had gone out for a walk to get some air. I....I saw him on the floor. There was.....there was so much blood. _So_ much blood. He had a knife lying next to him. He...he ummm, he had cut both his wrists. I didn't even think. I automatically grabbed some clean tea towels and tied them around his wrists to stop the bleeding as much as I could and then called the hospital. The others came in after a few minutes because I hadn't come out yet. I told Jazz to keep the girls out of the kitchen, but being the way they are, they both came in anyway. I thought Alice would be the worst, but it was Rose who passed out. Alice wasn't calm by anyone's standards, but she didn't scream or get in the way. I didn't freak out until we got to the hospital. After a while, the doctor came out and told me that Edward was in an induced coma, to let his body cope with the shock of what had happened, but that he was alive and stable and that if it hadn't of been for me staying calm and using my head, then he most likely wouldn't be. It was actually then, after being told that I had saved my little brother's life, that I decided I wanted to be a doctor."

I felt the world start to sway again.

Emmett put his hands on my shoulders and held me upright.

"Bella. He survived. It's lucky I'm so stupid and forgetful, huh. Not to mention I managed to stay calm."

"Oh Em! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry to you all! You had to see that! I should have been here! I should have run away from my aunt and come back straight away! I should have run away and called any of you! Or called your parents Em! They would have come for me! Esme would have been so angry at Charlie for doing something like that! I can't believe how much pain and misery I caused!"

"Sweetie. It wasn't your fault. Not really -"

"But it is! I left! I never got in touch with him! I could have tried harder, but I didn't. I was a coward because I thought he would already hate me!"

Emmett pulled me into one of his trademark bear hugs and let me cling to him for dear life.

"I'm sorry." I murmured as I slowly calmed myself down. "I'm....so....sorry!"

"Shhh. Shhh. It's ok. It's all ok now. Don't blame yourself. Please sweetie. No one ever even dreamt that Edward would ever do anything like that. Sure, he was always prone to being a bit melodramatic, but he was never...well...he would never have done that. Ever."

"Exactly!" I wailed, "He must have been in _so_ much pain to do something like that! Pain that _I_ caused!"

Emmett just continued to hold me and tell me to stop blaming myself, that no one else had ever blamed me. Yes, they all said it was _because_ of me and how I left, but they never said it was my fault.

"What did he say? When he told you I was back?"

"Not much. He was really flustered. He was worried that he was having an episode again."

"'An episode'? What do you mean by 'an episode'?!"

"Well....after you left...he kinda...well, lost it. He would have these dreams where he was chasing you but he could never reach you. And then....he started _seeing_ you. Like, hallucinating. And hearing you. Hearing you calling to him. It freaked him out, because he saw you everywhere. It took ages for him to get over it. Five months in fact. It was partly due to the hallucinations that he tried to kill himself. All the madness of seeing you everywhere and yet not having you. Knowing that you had left....it just got too much for him. He couldn't stand it anymore. He felt like he just couldn't live without you...."

"Oh my god....How can you say it isn't my fault?! Look to what I did to him!"

"Bella. It. Wasn't. Your. Fault. You managed to survive. You didn't go and try to kill yourself -"

"Because I found that I had something to live for! He didn't have that!"

"He had life to live for! He may not have been much of a life without you, but it was still worth living in some way! If only for the sake of his family!"

We sat there for a time, as I tried to control the pain and guilt coursing through me.

I suddenly realized something. "Has Edward spoken to Alice yet? About me being back?"

"No. He hasn't."

"You're sure? He hasn't called a mobile? Or any of you?"

They all checked their phones. Jasper called out to Alice, who was playing upstairs with the children, to check hers too.

None of them had any calls or texts from Edward.

"Why did you want to know?"

"You said he was worried that he was having an episode?"

"Yeah."

"What did he do last time he had an episode, Em?" I asked, terrified now that no one had heard from him since he spoke to Emmett over six hours ago.

"Shit. OH SHIT!" Emmett cried.

"You don't think..... No. No he wouldn't. Not again." Rose whispered.

Emmett leapt to his feet and dialled Edward's number. He paced back and forth, waiting for him to answer.

"Fuck!" he snarled, throwing his phone down. "No answer. I let it ring and ring. He didn't pick up."

"Oh god. We have to go there. We have to find him. He can't have been so stupid again!" gasped Rose.

"Should I come?" I asked, warily.

"No. No it's best if you don't. Either way...if he has...done something stupid...you shouldn't see it. If he hasn't, it's probably best if he doesn't see you just yet. He needs more time. We'll call you though, ok? Whatever happens, we'll let you know as soon as we can."

I nodded, knowing that Emmett was correct. If I were Edward, I would need time too.

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Toni and I went back to the hotel while the others went off to try and get hold of Edward. I was terrified by the fact that he may have tried to harm himself again. I waited for ages to hear from Emmett. Toni had long since fallen asleep and I sat on the end of the bed staring at my phone, waiting for it to ring. When it finally did, I almost didn't want to answer it. I flipped it open anyway, needing to know what had happened.

"Emmett?"

"Yeah, it's me Bells." he sounded tired.

"What happened? How is he? He did do anything did he? Is he ok?"

"Bella. Bella calm down. It's ok. He's...well, he's not exactly 'ok', but he is alive and in one piece. He's just kinda torn up over all this. He doesn't know what to do. He just needed to be alone. He was really upset that he had scared his family. -"

"But not me. He has no reason to be sorry for anything he does to me. Did you say anything about me?"

"We told him that we had spoken to you, but we didn't tell him what you told us. I think he should hear it from you."

"Yeah. Do you think he'll speak to me at all?"

"I honestly don't know. As Jazz told you, although he doesn't hate you, he does still resent you for hurting him the way you did. You may have a fight on your hands to get him to listen to you."

"Yeah...."

"It'll be ok, Bells. Somehow. I don't know how, but, somehow it'll be ok."

"Thanks Em. You should go to bed. You must be shattered."

"Yeah I am. Night Bells." he paused. "I really missed you, baby girl."

"I missed you too, big man."

He chuckled sleepily. "I'm glad you're back, Bella. Just, please try and talk to Edward before you leave again. And this time, please stay in touch with us?"

"I will Emmy. On both counts."

"Night, little one"

I smiled at my old nickname.

"Night, brother bear."

After hanging up, I slipped carefully into bed beside Toni.

I knew I needed to talk to Edward. I was just scared that he would tell me to go away again.

Still, he had to be told about Toni. He was her father. He had a right to choose to be a part of her life if he wanted.

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**Well. Now we know what happened to Edward. Poor baby. ******

**The next chapter may not be very long, but it will be in Edward's POV. I think we just need to get a look into his head about Bella being back.**

**Also, please do review if you like it. I don't ask it much, as I know that not everyone likes to, but I really do love that shit. It makes me feel all warm and tingly! I love knowing that people are enjoying where this story is going. Thanks for reading guys!**

**~ Ruusu.**


	7. Love Hurts Like a Bitch

**Yo. Oooo. This is new. Me doing an AN at the beginning! Ok, well, this is a short Edward POV, just to let us see how he feels about Bella coming back to Forks after ten years. Ummm, I hope this is ok. I've not done an Edward POV yet, so this should be fairly interesting! LOL!**

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**E POV**

I couldn't believe it. Bella was in Forks. She was here.

Or, on the other hand, I was having an episode again.

_Damn. Been a long time since I last had one of those._

What if it was an episode and I was going to start having them again? I didn't think I could cope with that again.

I almost went mad when Bella left.

Bella left. She just....left. I'd just given her a promise ring that day. I told her I wanted to marry her one day. She had been my girlfriend for two years. But more importantly, she had been my best friend my whole life. If she hadn't wanted to marry me, if she just wanted to be friends again, I would have accepted it. It would have broken my heart, but I would have been glad to still have her in my life. Instead she accepted the ring and then left me. Without a word. For ten years.

_Then she just comes back and expects everything to be ok?! What, she thought I'd just welcome her with open arms after what she did to me?! I tried to kill myself because of what she did to me for fuck sake! I'm supposed to just forget that?! After ten fucking years?!_

No. I couldn't just forgive her. And yet...my part of me was screaming at me to find her and talk to her. To confront her and demand to know why she left me.

I went to her house the day after I gave her the ring and found a little girl I didn't know sitting on the front steps. I asked her who she was and she told me that her name was Kelly, and that her family had just moved into the house. She said that her father had bought it off the man he worked with, as he had suddenly had to leave. I spoke to her mother and she confirmed it. Her husband was a police officer and had worked for Charlie. I asked her if she knew why he had left so suddenly, and if she knew where they had moved to, but she didn't.

I called Bella's phone constantly for about a month. I tried emailing her and everything. I never got a reply.

I kept wishing she would turn up on my doorstep, but she never did.

And then the hallucinations started. I saw her everywhere. I constantly heard her beautiful voice calling me. They wouldn't stop, no matter how hard I tried to focus on anything else.

Five months after she left, the hallucinations got so bad that I was going mad. I missed her more than anything. It was killing me being without her. And no amount of jokes from my brother could make up for the pain I was living every day. Nothing could stop the hurt. And one day, while I was off school sick, I went downstairs to get something to eat, and saw the knife sitting on the side. As I stared at it, I knew that no pain would ever be as great as the pain I felt in my heart right then. I didn't even think as I picked up the knife and bought it to my wrist.

It felt strangely good, as I slashed the blade against my wrist. It felt good to have a different pain to focus on, rather than the heartache I'd been feeling for the past five months.

I didn't mean to cut so deeply. But it felt so good to be distracted from all the pain over Bella. I started to feel dizzy and then I closed my eyes.

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The next thing I knew, I was waking up in a hospital room and being told that Emmett had saved my life.

I hadn't had any hallucinations since that day, but the pain of losing Bella had never lessened.

So I couldn't just forgive her. Even though everything in me was screaming to at least talk to her.

She broke my heart into pieces when she left.

Now my family and friends told me that they had spoken to her and forgiven her. I didn't understand how. What the fuck could she have said to make them forgive her?! She had hurt them as well as me and yet, the day she turns up they all accept whatever she told them and just forgive her that easily? I didn't think I could. Nothing could make up for what she had done. Nothing could erase the pain she had caused me. I didn't see how I could just let the resentment go after all these years.

And yet....I still loved her. With all my heart. She was the love of my life. My soul mate. I just didn't see how I could forget the last ten years.

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**Well. There you go. I know it's prolly not that great, being my first attempt at writing in Edward's POV, but I hope it was ok at least. I will work on my technique between now and the next time I do an E POV. Next chappie should be up by tomorrow night.**

**~ Ruusu.**


	8. Facing Fears & Disappearances

**Woot! I have 24 reviews! Thanks so much guys! I'm glad you are enjoying it! Hope I can make it live up to your expectations and keep it interesting!**

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**B POV**

The next day I sat in the hotel room reading and watching my nine year old daughter play.

I wanted desperately to talk to Edward, but I still couldn't bring myself to face him again.

I was terrified of him refusing to speak to me. And I was terrified of him rejecting Toni. I couldn't put my daughter through that. I had to face him alone and then let him choose to come t his daughter. If he didn't want anything to do with her, then I wouldn't tell her that I had spoken to her father. She still didn't know that he was here. And I wouldn't tell her unless he wanted to see her. It would be better for her if she just kept believing that, although he had never met her, her daddy loved her.

I sighed as I realized that I had to talk to him sometime. No matter how hard it would be.

At seven that night, I told Toni that I had to go for a walk and asked her not to open the door to anyone but me or any of my friends, if they came to talk to us.

As I closed the door behind me I phoned Rose and asked her if she could tell me where Edward lived.

"Bella, are you sure it isn't too soon to go talk to him?" she questioned.

"Probably. But I need to speak to him. I'm here for four days. That's all. I have to speak to him now. I have to make him listen. Somehow."

She gave in and gave me his address.

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I walked slowly to Edward's house. I didn't know what I was going to say. I wanted him to understand, but at the same time I knew that he most likely wouldn't want to listen. All the same, I had to try. I had to try to explain.

I finally reached his house and walked nervously down the path. When I reached the door, I took a deep steadying breath and rang the door bell.

I almost wanted to run away when I heard his footsteps approaching.

He opened the door and stared at me for a moment before turning back inside and closing the door.

"Edward! Wait! Please!" I cried desperately. "Please! _Please_ speak to me! _Please!_"

"Why should I?" I heard his muffled voice snarl. "You didn't do me that courtesy when you left without a word!"

"I know! I know and I'm sorry! I know that doesn't change anything, I know it won't fix anything, but please, let me explain. It's not like you think. Please. Please, just let me try to explain."

I waited, praying that he would listen. I stood there for about ten minutes waiting for him to answer.

"No." he finally said, his voice husky and rough.

I leant my head against the door and struggled to hold back the tears threatening to spill over.

"No." I heard him say again. "Ten years is hard to forgive and forget, Bella."

"You can't forgive me. Fine. You've no reason to, but there's still something you have to know -"

"Just go Bella. There's nothing you can say that will change anything."

I refused to leave until he knew about the child sitting in my hotel room.

"Edward -"

"Go away!" he cried.

I slammed my fist into the door in my pain and frustration.

"Please." he murmured. "Please. Just...just go."

"Fine!" I yelled, "I just thought you might like to know that you have a daughter. Obviously I was wrong!"

I turned and started walking back down the path.

_I knew he may refuse to talk to me. God I shouldn't have told him like that. Maybe I can write him a letter before I leave? He'll probably just throw it in the bin, but at least I'll have tried._

My scarf slipped from my neck then, and as I bent down to pick it up, I heard a dull creak as the front door opened.

I spun around to face it and saw Edward peering at me through the gap.

"What did you say?" he croaked, his voice hoarse.

I took a breath, "I said, 'I thought you might like to know that you have a daughter, but I guess I was wrong'"

"You're lying."

"Yes I'm lying. I was only dragged to the other side of the fucking country by my fucking aunt, away from everyone I cared about and all I knew, for being pregnant! I was only labour for 14 hours at the age of 16, alone in a hospital bed, crying and wishing that everyone I loved was with me, because my bitch of an aunt refused to be there and my bastard father had wanted nothing to do with me since he found out I was pregnant! But yeah, I'm lying." I spat sarcastically.

Edward stared at me, breathing heavily. "I don't believe you." he whispered.

"You want proof? Then come with me to my hotel room and see. Come to my hotel room, and tell me that the little girl sitting on the bed is someone else's."

I held his gaze, challenging him to trust me for just a few minutes.

"If you still don't believe me, then you can walk straight back out of there and I'll never bother you again. Just don't disbelieve me until you've seen her."

Edward stared at me for a few moments longer and then turned back into the house and started to close the door.

_Damn it!_

I was just about to yell at him when he stepped out with his keys in his hand.

"Fine." he said. "Show me."

"Ok."

I turned and started walking back towards the hotel with Edward a short way behind me.

We didn't speak once, the whole way. I wanted to, but I had told him that I just wanted him to see my daughter and deny that she was his. Not that I wanted him to forgive me and talk to me.

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We reached the hotel and I unlocked my hotel room door.

I stepped in and looked around for my daughter. I guessed she must be in the bathroom so I called out for her. There was no answer.

"Toni?" I called, starting to feel worried. "Baby? I need to talk to you. It's important."

When Toni decided to hide from me, simply telling her I need to talk to her about something important always made her come out of hiding.

This time she didn't. I ran to the bathroom and looked inside. Nothing.

I looked in the kitchen. Nothing.

The closet. Under the bed. Nothing.

Edward stood in the doorway watching me. I knew he was doubting me more each second.

"Toni!" I yelled.

I started to panic. She would never keep hiding from me if I was calling her that urgently.

I started to hyperventilate as I wrenched my phone from my pocket and called her mobile. It went straight to answer phone. I tried Jasper instead.

He answered on the third ring.

"Jazz!" I cried. "Jazz, have you seen Toni?! I went out for half an hour and I just got back and she isn't here!"

"No. I haven't. She knew you wouldn't be long, right?"

"Yeah. And the door hasn't been forced open, the window is still shut. She just isn't here!"

"I'll call Em and Rose, see she is with them, cos they were talking about coming to see you both tonight."

"Ok." Though I doubted she was, or they would have left a note.

Jasper hung up to call the others and I sat heavily on the edge of the bed. I tried calling Toni's phone again and got through this time, only to hear it ring behind me. It was still on the bed side table.

I bought my hands to my face and breathed heavily, trying to keep calm.

I heard Edward cough, and just as I looked up, my mobile rang. I snatched it up and flipped it open.

"Jazz?"

"Yeah. I spoke to the others. Bella....no one's seen Toni."

"Oh god." I gasped. "Oh god. She's missing. My baby's missing!"

"Bella, darlin', we're all gonna look for her, ok? We're gonna find her and she's gonna be fine, alright? Trust me."

"I do. I do trust you Jasper. I'm just so worried!"

"I know. But she'll be ok, and you'll have her back before you know it."

He hung up then to go and find her.

I leapt up from the bed and pushed past Edward into the hall. I snapped the door shut behind me.

I turned to face Edward, too worried about Toni to even bother being polite.

"Right. I don't care if you hate me. I don't care if you believe me or not, and right now, and I don't give a shit what you think of me. Our little girl is missing, and I'm going to find her. Go home. Once I'll find her I'll bring her to you so you can either accept what I'm telling you or deny it. Right now I really don't care what you think. I just care about finding her."

He stared at me in shock before he spoke.

"Do you really think that little of me? Yeah, I don't believe that she's mine, but that doesn't change the fact that she is a little kid missing in a town she doesn't know. Do you really think I'm just going to go home and sit there twiddling my thumbs waiting for you to find her and bring her over?"

I was stunned into silence for a moment.

"No." I murmured. "No. I don't think that of you. How could I? I just....I'm so worried."

I gave a harsh laugh.

"Here I am, trying to convince you to listen to me and let me explain, and yet I'm not giving you any reason to. I'm sorry."

Edward looked down at the floor and coughed awkwardly.

"I'm gonna help you find her. I just want this to be over. I can't keep living like this. I don't know about you but...I need closure."

I nodded. "Yeah. I know what you mean."

It wasn't much, but at least we had an understanding and were on the same page.

We decided to split up to cover more ground to find Toni quicker.

I watched Edward disappear and wished that, once he saw Toni, he might let me explain to him what truly happened all those years ago.

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**Bugger. They could have had a break through if Toni hadn't been missing? Speaking of which, omg! Where is she? Why isn't she still at the hotel?**

**Also, three chapters in one day! Boo yeah! LOL!**

**Next chapter will be in Edward's POV. You'll see why when you read it.**

**Thanks for reading! **

**~ Ruusu**


	9. Back In Your Arms I Feel Home Again

**Ok. Big breakthrough coming in this chapter and the next! Yay! LOL!**

**Again, this is an Edward point of view. You will see why this chappie needed to be told by Edward when you read it.**

**I will not keep you any longer, hope you like this one!**

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**E POV**

_You have a daughter._

_A daughter._

That's what Bella had said. She told me to at least see the girl and deny she was mine. I didn't understand how that would be possible. Unless the kid clearly looked like me, there would be no way, other than a DNA test, that would prove that she was mine.

And then there was what she had said after, when I said she was lying. That she was 'dragged to the other side of the fucking country'.

I didn't understand that part. I couldn't figure out what she meant by that, and yet one word stuck in my mind from it _dragged_.

I sighed and crossed the road. Ok, so I didn't believe that the child was mine, but she was still Bella's, and she was missing. When Bella had thought that I wouldn't help, it felt as though she had punched me in the gut. That she would think I would be so petty. No matter what she had done to me, I could clearly see how worried she was about her daughter. I was still in love with her, and I couldn't bare seeing her looking so scared. So here I was, walking the streets of Forks in the pouring rain, looking for a child I had never seen before, for the love of my life who had left me ten years ago.

I knew the others would all be looking around town, so I decided to check out the forest, knowing from experience that it was easy to get lost in there.

I couldn't help but smile as the memory of the first of mine and Bella's first 'great adventure', as we used to call them, came to my mind. We had been seven years old and had been allowed to go to the park without our parents for the first time. We had decided to take the shortcut my mom had talked about with Renee, through the woods. We had never been in the woods before, except for walking along the edge of it. We had gotten lost and spent hours trying to find our way out and had still been there when it had started to get dark. Both of us had been really scared as we couldn't see the path properly anymore, but Bella was worse as she was scared of the dark anyway.

_**Flashback**_

"_Edward!" Bella cried, panicking. "It's getting dark! I'm scared!"_

"_It's ok Bella. I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you. You know I won't."_

"_Yeah. I know, but I just wanna go home! I hate this!"_

"_I know. But I bet our parents are looking for us right now. We'll be home soon."_

_It got darker and darker, and we kept walking, trying to find our way out of the woods._

_Eventually it was so dark that we could hardly see each other. Bella started to cry._

_I hated seeing Bella cry. The first time I'd seen her cry and understood that it meant she was upset was when we had been two and a half. We had been playing outside and she had fallen over and cut her knee. Seeing her crying made me want to cry myself and hug her and make the pain go away. I had climbed onto the table, sat next to her and reached out and stroked her hair and said, "Don't cry Bella. Angels shouldn't cry."_

_I still remembered how our moms had both cooed and 'awwed' at that._

_Seeing her crying now because of the dark I had sat down between the roots of a tree and pulled her down on to my lap and cuddled her close. I had started singing, to try and calm her down. I sang 'Only Want To Be With You' by The Tourists. Even then, Bella was a huge fan of Annie Lennox, and it always made her smile to hear her songs. Especially from me._

_**I don't know what it is that makes me love you so  
I only know I never wanna let you go  
'Cause you started something  
Oh, can't you see  
And ever since we met, you got a hold on me  
It happens to be true  
I only wanna be with you**_

_Bella looked up at me and gave me a small smile. I smiled back and carried on signing._

_**It doesn't matter where you go or what you do  
I want to spent each moment of the day with you  
Oh, look what has happened with just one kiss  
I never knew that I could be in love like this  
It's crazy but it's true  
I only wanna be with you**_

You stopped and smiled at me, asked me if I cared to dance  
I fell into your open arms and I didn't stand a chance  
Now listen honey  
I just want to be beside you everywhere  
As long as we're together honey I don't care  
'Cause you started something  
Oh, can't you see  
And ever since we met, you got a hold on me  
No matter what you do  
I only wanna be with you

_By this point Bella was giggling at me, though she still had tears in her eyes._

_**Now listen honey  
I just want to be beside you everywhere  
As long as we're together honey I don't care  
'Cause you started something  
Oh, can't you see  
And ever since we met, you got a hold on me  
No matter what you do  
I only wanna be with you  
No matter what you do  
I only, only, only, only, only wanna be with you**_

_As I finished, I gently wiped the last of Bella's tears from her cheeks and smiled at her._

"_See? That wasn't so bad was it?"_

_She smiled back up at me and shook her head._

"_No. Not that bad." she agreed. "It's still dark though."_

"_Yeah. I know."_

_I hugged her as close as I could and started humming the song to her quietly._

_Our parents found us about five minutes after._

_There was an upside to having gotten lost. Bella wasn't so afraid of the dark after that, and if she did get a little frightened, she would just hum Only Want To Be With You to herself. It became 'our song'._

_We weren't allowed to walk to the park alone for a very long time after that, and even then we had to promise not to go near the woods. Ha. Good luck with that! The next time we were allowed out without supervision we went straight back in there!_

_**End Flashback**_

I swallowed hard. I hadn't thought about things like that in a long time. It was easier to not. I scrubbed my eyes with the back of my hand to get rid of the tears. I promised myself a few years ago that I wouldn't cry over her anymore, and I had never managed to keep that promise.

By the time we were ten, we had known the woods like the back of each other's hands. (Which was even better than we knew the backs of our own hands!) Even Bella, as clumsy and uncoordinated as she was, could almost walk through the woods with her eyes shut and not walk into anything or tripping over.

We started spending even more time in there after Renee died when we were eleven. Everyone had been so shocked when she had, and Bella said she felt better when we were in the woods. It gave her something to focus on, other than the fact that her mom was dead.

I kept walking, searching every inch of the woods for Bella's daughter.

I looked at my watch and saw that it was two in the morning. No one had called to let me know if they had found her yet, so I called Alice to check. She told me that there had been no news and that Jasper had had to physically drag Bella back to theirs to rest for a little while. Bella was going frantic. I could hear her in the background asking if I had any news. Hearing her voice sounding as terrified as it had all those years ago here in this very wood damn near tore my heart out. I promised that I was going to keep looking, even though the others were all calling it a night. I refused to head back until I found Bella's daughter.

_Yeah. To quote Spike from Buffy, "I'm love's bitch." I know. Fuck it. I don't care. I never could bare seeing Bella upset about anything. No matter what she had done to me that was still true._

I heard a soft sob from somewhere nearby, and then heard a small voice start to sing mine and Bella's song.

I crept round a tree and saw a little kid curled into a ball at the bottom of a tree. I walked over and crouched down.

"Toni?" I asked softly.

She sniffed and uncurled herself slightly and raised her face to look at me.

And I fell backwards in shock.

_She...she looks just like me!_

She had the same eyes as me. And, even though it was darkened by the rain, the same colour hair too. Bella had been telling the truth. That's why see wanted me to see her and deny it. Because there was no way that I could deny it. Not when I was staring at what was basically a mini and female version of myself.

"Daddy?" she whispered, in a broken little voice.

"Yeah." I breathed, because I could no longer doubt that it was true. "What are you doing out here? Your mom's really worried."

"I just wanted you both to be happy."

"And scaring everyone by running away would make us happy?"

"It was my fault."

"What was your fault?"

"Momma leaving. If she hadn't been pregnant with me....she wouldn't have had to leave, and you'd both be happy...."

I just stared at her in shock.

"I followed Momma when she left the hotel cos I heard her on the phone to Rose asking where you lived. I didn't know that you still lived here. Momma didn't say. I wanted to know why she wasn't taking me, so I followed her. I heard what she said. That she was dragged to the other side of the country for being pregnant. I always knew that she hadn't wanted to leave, but now I know that she did because of me! If I hadn't been born, she never would have left, and you'd still be together and you'd be happy! But you're both so sad because of me being born!"

She burst into tears and curled herself back into a ball.

I didn't even know what to say. I launched myself forwards and scooped her into my arms.

"Hey. It's not your fault. Don't be so silly."

She sobbed in my arms and I held her as close as possible.

"Shhh. Shhh. It's ok. I've got you."

I knew I needed to get her out of this damned storm and into the warm. I was closer to my house than to Alice's so I lifted Toni into my arms and started carrying her back to mine.

I couldn't call anyone yet, so I decided to do it once I got Toni into the warm and dry.

Once I got her back to mine I carried her to my bedroom and set her carefully on the bed before turning to find a t-shirt for her. I found a suitable one and grabbed a towel. I went back to her and slid her out of her soaking clothes and wrapped her in the towel. Once she was dry I helped her pull on my t-shirt before pulling the covers back and slipping her under them. I tucked the towel under her head so that it covered the pillow. I pushed her long, wet hair back from her face.

She smiled up at me. As much as she looked like me, her smile seemed more like Bella's than mine. Especially now. The small, timid smile that I had seen a thousand times on Bella.

I smiled softly and stroked her hair. I still couldn't believe she was mine.

_So why did Bella leave? Did she think I would be angry? Or tell her to have an abortion? I would have stood by her completely._

"Daddy?" I was broken out of my thoughts by my daughter calling me.

_My daughter._

"Hmm?"

"Will you talk to Momma?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but didn't know how to, so closed it again.

"Please, Daddy? I know that her leaving made you sad, but I've seen how sad she's been too. I've never seen her truly happy. The happiest I've seen her was yesterday, with all of her friends. I don't know why she left, but I know she didn't want to, and that it's caused her pain ever since."

I sighed. I could see the sincerity in Toni's eyes.

"Please?" she whispered, "I'm not saying you have to forgive her, but at least let her explain?"

I sighed again before answering. "Ok, sweetie. I'll talk to her. Now. You should get some sleep and try to warm up ok?"

"Ok Daddy. And....thank you. For saying that you'll talk to Momma."

I leant down and kissed her forehead gently.

I walked out into the hall and called Alice, letting her know that I had found Toni and that she was at mine.

Ten minutes later, Bella arrived at my door. I showed her to the bedroom so that she could see that Toni was ok. She was fast asleep by then, so Bella stroked her hair and kissed her softly.

She walked back out of the room and closed the door quietly behind her. She faced me, took a breath and spoke, staring at the wall behind me, "I don't want to risk waking her, so is it ok if she stays here for the night?"

"Sure."

"Ok. I'll...uh, I'll come back tomorrow to see her."

With that she turned and headed to the front door.

I bit my lip and made up my mind.

"Wait." I called

Bella turned back to look at me.

"Can we talk?" I asked uncertainly.

Bella swallowed before answering, "Yeah. Sure."

I led her into the living room and motioned for her to sit down on the sofa.

We sat in an awkward silence for a few moments.

"Why?" I whispered. "Why did you leave?"

I glanced up and saw Bella had her eyes closed, and tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I didn't." she murmured.

I was about to reply when she carried on, without opening her eyes.

"I didn't leave. I found out I was a month pregnant the night before. I found and old pregnancy test in a box of my mom's belongings. I had been feel ill for a while, and I knew the signs of pregnancy, so I decided to check. I dropped it into the bottom of the bin in my bathroom to hide it. I was going to tell you that night. I was going to ask you to sneak in so that we could talk. But....my Aunt Sarah was staying. She was snooping in my room that day, while we were all at the park. When I got home, all my bags were packed. She had told Charlie. He told me that it was all your fault. That he had always known you were trouble. You know he never supported us being together. He said that I wasn't allowed to see you again, so he forced me to go and live in Orlando with Sarah. I didn't have anything to do with him since that night, and I left Sarah's as soon as I turned eighteen."

She went on to tell me how she had been treated by her aunt when she refused to give up the baby. How she had had no support from her in anyway. And how she had been a coward and not wanted to come back and find me with someone else. She then showed me her left hand. She told me that what I had thought was a wedding ring was in fact the ring I had given her the day she had been taken away, and that she had never stopped loving me.

We sat there in silence for a long time.

_She didn't leave. She didn't want to. She wanted to stay. She never stopped loving me. She never moved on. She's still in love with me._

It was Bella who broke the silence.

"I...uhhh... I should go. It's late." she said.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was four am.

"Oh."

"I'll see you tomorrow." she whispered.

"Yeah." I whispered back.

She stood up and walked to the front door.

_Don't just sit there! Go after her! Don't let her go, you fucking idiot!_

I flew out of the chair and raced out of the front door. It was still raining.

"Bella!" I called.

She turned around on the front path to face me, the rain running down her face.

I didn't even think as I ran down to her. I grabbed hold of her by the shoulders and pulled her to me as I crashed my lips to hers.

Her hands grabbed at my shirt as she clung to me.

Even after all this time it still felt so right to kiss her. Like we were only meant to kiss each other.

I slid one arm down to her waist and crushed her tightly to me while I twisted my other hand in her hair. She moved her arms around my neck.

We just kept kissing, letting out ten years of passion and love in it.

I don't know how long we stood there in the rain just kissing and clinging to one another, and I don't care. It just felt so good and so right having her back in my arms.

We finally pulled apart for air, but rested our foreheads together, gasping for breath.

"Bella." I breathed. "Oh Bella."

"Edward." she whispered.

Our eyes met, and I knew that everything would be right again.

Egypt Central summed it up in one line: Back in your arms I feel home again.

I kissed Bella chastely.

"Stay." I murmured.

She looked up into my eyes and smiled softly, before kissing me gently. I closed my eyes and smiled against her lips.

_Back in your arms I feel home again._

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**Altogether now! AWWWWWWWW!**

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter guys! I stayed up till one in the morning to complete it, so you better fucking appreciate it you little buggers! LOL! (joke)**

**Don't worry, this story is not over yet! I have big plans for it yet!**

**By the way, the song I had in mind while I wrote that last bit was 'Home' by the amazing Egypt Central! Seriously, check it out, it's a beautiful song, and the lyrics are so perfect for this story! Honestly, the first line is "**_**Staring at an empty cup of understanding, Maybe you could fill it up and tell me why you left**_**"**

**Next chappie will hopefully be up by tomorrow night! Right now, I'm going to bed to pass out! LOL! Night guys!**

**~Ruusu.**


	10. Good Old Times & Declarations

**B POV**

I walked slowly down the front path. It was still raining. The storm hadn't run itself out yet.

He had listened. He had heard what I had to say. And, though he hadn't said much, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. The guilt and pain I had been carrying for ten years had finally lifted. He knew the truth. What he chose to do with it was up to him.

"Bella!" I heard him call from the door.

I turned around to face him, the rain running down my face.

I watched as he ran down the path to me and suddenly grabbed hold of me by the shoulders and pulled me to him as he crashed his lips to mine.

I grabbed at his shirt and clung to him.

Even after all this time it still felt so right to kiss him. Like we were only meant to kiss each other.

He slid one arm down to my waist and crushed me tightly to him while his other hand twisted in my hair. I reached up and wrapped both my arms around his neck, threading my fingers through his already wet hair.

We just kept kissing, letting out ten years of passion and love.

I don't know how long we stood there in the rain just kissing and clinging to one another, and I don't care. It just felt so good and so right being back in his arms.

We finally pulled apart for air, but rested our foreheads together, gasping for breath.

"Bella." he breathed. "Oh, Bella."

"Edward." I whispered.

Our eyes met, and I knew that everything would be right again.

He kissed me chastely.

"Stay." he murmured.

I smiled and kissed him again, softly.

He pulled back and smiled down at me, before dipping slightly and wrapping his arms around my thighs and lifting me up. As soon as he had me securely, he started spinning us around. I squealed and clung to his shoulders tightly, both of us laughing. I leant forwards and rested my forehead on his as we gazed into each others' eyes.

I blinked as the rain trickled into my eyes.

"Ummm. Do you think we could maybe get out of the rain now? Or were you planning on staying out here all night?" I teased.

He chuckled and carried me inside. I gently pushed a piece of his hair out of his eyes so that he could see where he was going. He carried me down the hall to a spare bedroom, as Toni was asleep in his bed. He set me down and grabbed a towel from the bathroom and handed it to me before creeping into his bedroom quietly.

I quickly stripped out of my wet clothes and dried myself before wrapping the towel around me.

Edward came back in carrying two t-shirts and two pairs of pyjama bottoms. He smiled at me as he passed me one set of the clothes. I excused myself to the bathroom to change.

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While I was dressing I smiled to myself. I knew that we needed to take things slowly, and that nothing would be happening tonight, other than just being in each others' arms, but that was enough for me right now. I just wanted to _be_ with him. To know that he still loved me.

_Stay._

Just that one word had made me so happy that I felt I would burst from joy. He didn't want me to go away again.

I dressed quickly, loving the way his scent enveloped me as I slid the shirt over my head. I remembered the times before when I had worn his clothes. Even before we had started dating, if we ever had an impromptu sleepover I would always wear his clothes to sleep in. If we ever played out in the rain while I was over, or in the stream at the bottom of the garden at his parents' house, I would always wear something of his while his mother Esme dried my clothes.

I smiled again and headed back to the bedroom. I got there to find Edward lying in the bed. He smiled at me and pulled the covers back next to him and holding out his arm for me. I crawled into the bed and instantly snuggled into his side. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close to him. We both sighed contentedly. I crossed my arms on his chest and propped my head on my hands so that I could look at him. He stroked my hair from my face and kissed the tip of my nose. I giggled and reached up to kiss him.

I pulled away after a few minutes with another happy sigh and lay next to him, on my side, facing him, our noses only an inch apart. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled as his arms slid around me waist, holding me to him again.

"So..." I said slowly, "What have you done since school?"

Edward sighed softly and ran the backs of his fingers down my cheek.

"Not much. I went to college, mostly so I didn't let my parents down, and then got a Degree in Music. That only to five years in all though. Other than that, I've just worked. I still work in the same music shop I used to work at in Seattle."

"You didn't go away to college?"

"No. Part of me still believed that you would come back one day and I wanted to be here if you did."

"Oh, Edward! I'm so sorry!" I cried as I pulled myself as close to him as I could.

He clung to me and kissed my hair.

"Shhh. It's ok. As much as I wish you _had_ come back, I understand why you didn't. And it doesn't matter because I know now that you didn't want to leave in the first place."

He chuckled darkly.

"Anyway, I would have forgiven you eventually, even if you hadn't told me all of this. How could I not? You're finally back. I've never been able to stay mad at you. I love you, Bella."

I snapped my head up to look at him, sure that I must have misheard him.

"You -"

"I love you." he cut me off. "I've always loved you. And I always will."

I stared at him, and could see nothing but sincerity and love in his eyes.

_He still loves me. He's still in love with me!_

"I love you too. I'll never stop loving you!"

With that, we crushed our lips together for the fifth time so far.

_Yeah. I've been counting. So what? I counted all the times we kissed during the first month after we started dating......it was 135. Well, 137. If you count the first two that we more a quick peck on the lips that lasted about a nano second because we were shy and embarrassed about doing it. Ahem. Yes. We kissed a lot in the first month. Ok, so we kissed a lot constantly in our relationship. I have no idea how many times we kissed in total. _

We kissed for a good five minutes without coming up for air.

We spent the most of the remaining night talking about anything and everything. We talked about what we had been doing since I had been forced to leave and about the 'good old days'. We laughed, we got chocked up, but most importantly, we just held each other. I don't know exactly what time we feel asleep, but it was at least after six. Other than catching up, it felt as though we had never been apart, because lying in each other's arms felt so right.

Edward mentioned a song that he said summed up perfectly how he felt, and I had to agree when he told me the line. _Back in your arms I feel home again._ And I really did.

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**I know this chappie wasn't as long as the last and I'm very sorry. The next one should be longer. I'm not sure when it will be up, but it will prolly be tomorrow night or the night after.**

**Also, sorry to anyone who was expecting some 'sexy time' in this chappie. I'm really no good with that sort of thing, so there won't be any lemons in this story, unless I can find someone who is good at writing them and would be willing to write one or two for me. If you would be able to do so, please message me. Thanks.**

**~Ruusu.**


	11. Good Old Times & DeclarationsPart Two!

**Ok, so it was bought to my attention that in the previous chapter I did not mention what Bella has been doing all these years. I'm so sorry about that! I must have been half asleep to miss that out! I even had the whole thing planned out in my head. I cannot believe that I missed such an important piece out. Please forgive me. To make up for my stupidity, I am giving you this little chappie which is Edward's POV of the last chapter. Well, the conversation in bed anyway, not the whole thing. Again, I am so very sorry for missing it from the last chapter.**

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**E POV**

It felt so right lying here in bed with Bella wrapped in my arms. I knew that it would take some work for us to be together again, and I would have to learn to trust her and not be paranoid that she was going to leave me, but, holding her like this as she slept, I knew that we would be ok. I had never stopped loving her and I now knew that she had never stopped loving me, and that was all that really mattered at the end of the day. We were in love. We would make it work somehow, no matter what it took.

I thought about our conversation. It had just been about catching up with what we had been doing the last ten years. I had been shocked to discover that Bella had gone to college, even with a three year old daughter, to train to be a nurse.

_**Flashback**_

"_You're a what?!"_

_Bella laughed._

"_A nurse."_

"_Why a nurse?"_

"_Why not a nurse?"_

_It was my turn to laugh. "Touché. So?"_

"_Well, considering all the times I had accidents, I know how annoying it is to have to wait for ages to be seen at the hospital and how they could always use more staff. Also, growing up with you lot, especially you and Emmett, I got a lot of practice at taking care of injured people. Mostly you. I still swear that you just liked me pampering you when you were hurt, so you just did stupid shit in an attempt to get hurt, just so I would look after you."_

_I laughed again. I couldn't help it. I had laughed more in the last hour than I had in the past ten years._

"_You got me. You were just such a good carer. You always knew exactly what I needed or wanted."_

"_That's because we had been best friends since we were babies! I think fifteen years is enough time to be able to know everything about someone. Anyway. You were better. You could always tell what I was thinking. Even before I'd finished having the thought! It was like you could read my mind!"_

_I smiled and pulled her closer to me. _

"_I bet you are a wonderful nurse, Bella."_

"_Well, not all of us can be wonderful at everything you know." she said seriously, before bursting into laughter._

_**End Flashback**_

I sighed contentedly and snuggled closer to the love of my life. I kissed her forehead gently, before falling asleep in her arms.

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**Ok. I know that was **_**re-heally**_** short, but as I said at the top, it was an infill to make up for my stupidity in forgetting to put it in the previous chappie.**

**Hope it was ok. Prolly won't be a chappie up tomorrow, due to it being Father's Day, but I will update the day after if I can't get one up then.**

**~ Ruusu.**

**P.S, I have a new story up! So far only the prologue is up, but I will be updating it real soon. It's called The Path to Enlightenment and is another Twilight fic! And of course, it's all Bella and Edward! Never anything different my darlings! LOL! So please, go check it out, and let me know if you think I should continue it!**


	12. Being in Love & Being a Family

**Hey guys. So sorry I didn't get this up at the weekend. I've been trying to work on my other story as well. Hope you enjoy this chappie!**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**B POV**

"_I love you." _

_........_

"_I've always loved you". _

_..........._

"_And I always will."_

.............

I woke from a wonderful dream to the sunlight filtering through the curtains. I opened my eyes and looked around the strange room. I had no idea where I was.

_This isn't my hotel room._

I heard a soft moan behind me and felt an arm wrap around my waist and pull me closer.

I twisted around and gasped.

_Edward._

Oh god. It wasn't a dream! He did ask me to stay! He really does still love me!

I smiled, like I hadn't smiled since I was 15. I felt as though I could jump out of the bed and dance around the room, squealing like a teenager. Just like I had when Edward had first asked me to be his girlfriend when we were thirteen.

I bit my lip to hold back my squeals of joy and gazed at the face of the perfect man lying asleep next to me.

He was so beautiful. It sounds weird to call a man beautiful, but it's just what he was. Beautiful, amazing, handsome, mesmerizing, gorgeous....perfect.

I reached out and gently brushed a lock of his gorgeous bronze hair from his face. I then ran my fingers softly over his cheek, down his perfectly straight nose, against his soft lips.

As my fingers brushed his lips I felt a soft smile creep over them.

I raised an eyebrow and smirked.

He sighed and nuzzled into me.

I poked him in the shoulder.

"I know you're awake, Cullen. So stop pretending otherwise."

One of his eyes opened a crack and he peered at me.

"I was so sure you were a dream." he murmured huskily. "I thought I dreamed all that last night."

"I thought that too. But no. It was real."

"You're here." he smiled at me.

"I'm here."

He raised his hand and stroked my face.

He lifted his head from the pillow and gazed into my eyes. He leant in slowly and pressed his lips softly to mine.

_I'll never get tired of kissing this man. How I survived all these years without it, I'll never know._

When we finally broke apart he lay on his back and pulled me to him again.

I rested my head on his chest and smiled at him.

"I always loved your smile you know. It was always the most beautiful smile in the world."

I laughed softly. "Funny. I always thought that about yours."

I sighed. "I haven't truly smiled in ten years you know. Not since I was pulled away from you."

He looked down at me sadly. Then wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and dragged me up his body so that our faces were closer.

"Neither have I. I know it didn't seem like it, but the other day in the park...I was happier than I've been since we were fifteen. Until I saw the ring that is. I thought you were married. That you'd moved on from me."

"I could never move on from you, Edward. Because you've always been my future. You can't move on from what your future holds."

He smiled at me and kissed me again.

_Seriously. Never. Going. To. Get. Tired. Of. Kissing. This. Man. Ever!_

We pulled away from the kiss, sighing happily.

We lay together quietly for a while, just looking into each other's eyes.

Edward was the one to break the comfortable silence.

"You won't leave again, will you?" he breathed.

"No. Never."

"Good."

A thought suddenly came to me.

"Although...I do have to go back to Orlando

"Why?!" he looked terrified at the prospect.

"Shhh" I cooed, stroking his face. "Shhh. Baby, I'm not leaving you again. I promise. Not now. Not ever. But I need to go back. I have a life there. It's not much of a life, granted, but I still need to wrap some things up before we can be together again."

"Like what?" he asked, much more relaxed, though still a little wary.

"My job, for one thing. Toni's school. I have a house that I need to sell."

I paused and bit my lip.

"That is....if I have somewhere to live afterwards?"

His eyes widened in horror as he realised what I meant.

He kissed me passionately to reassure me.

"Of course you do! Bella, I can't bare to be without you! Of course you have somewhere to live! I want nothing more than for you and Toni to live with me! How could you even think that?!"

"Because I don't understand how you can forgive me so quickly! After what I did to you -"

He cut me off by pressing his finger to me lips.

"No." he said sharply. "_No_. Not what _you_ did. What _they_ did. What your aunt and father did."

"As much as I've always missed my mom, that was the one time that I wished that she was still alive most desperately. She always loved you. She would never have blamed you. I don't doubt that she would have been disappointed, maybe even a bit angry, but she would have _never_ sent me away. She never would have pulled me away from you. She would have fought against Charlie for me to stay here."

"I know." he whispered to me. "And as for how I can forgive you so quickly, after something other people did to us, is because I love you. I thought I told you that last night? I thought I made myself clear? Bella, you are, and always have been, the love of my life. The only thing that could ever make me hate you, would be you cheating on me, or going on a killing spree! Even then I'd probably still be as in love with you as ever!"

We both laughed at that and kept holding each other.

I would hate being away from him, even if it was only for a couple of weeks while I quit my job, sold my house and got Toni into a school near Forks.

I suddenly had an idea.

"Edward," I started, tentatively, "would you like to come to Orlando with us? Just for a couple of week until everything is sorted out?"

"Sure" he grinned happily, "At least then I don't have to be parted from you for any time!"

I laughed. "You're so silly. But, I don't want to be away from you for any amount of time either, so I guess I'm just as silly as you!"

"No. That's not being silly. That's called being in love." he told me smugly.

I kissed him on the tip of his nose. "Yes, but you are still silly."

"Can't argue with that."

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We finally got out of bed and walked to Edward's bedroom.

_Which will soon be my bedroom too! 'Our' bedroom!_

As he pushed the door open, we smiled at the sight before us.

Toni was sitting in the bed with a book in front of her, the covers pulled up to her chin.

She looked up as we walked in.

"Momma! Daddy!" she cried happily.

"Hello baby." I cooed.

She suddenly saw that we were holding hands.

Her bright eyes flashed from Edward to me and then back to our hands.

A huge smile crept onto her little face.

"You talked!" she cried, delightedly.

"We did baby." Edward murmured softly to her.

"Guess what sweetie?"

"What?"

"We're all going to Orlando for a few weeks, and then we are gonna come live here with Daddy!"

Toni suddenly launched herself from the bed and flung her arms around us both.

Edward laughed and scooped her into his arms. She wrapped her little arms around his neck and kissed him joyfully.

Edward shifted her into one arm and then wrapped the other around me, pulling me to his side. I wrapped one arm around his waist and placed the other on our daughter's back.

We stood there for ages, just being close. Being a family.

A family. Just like we should have been all our lives.

I snuggled closer to Edward, praying that this would never end.

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**There you go! Another chappie up at last! (not the last chappie though. Not by a long shot yet!) Hope you enjoyed that one darlings!**

**Oh, and check out my other story, 'The Path to Enlightenment' as the first chappie is now up!**

**As always, I love reviews!**

**~ Ruusu.**


	13. Beautiful Sounds & Fallouts

**B POV**

After speaking to our friends and family we had booked our flight to Orlando.

I sat on the plane tucked under Edward's arm, watching our daughter sleep next to us.

I had never felt happier than I did then. I was back with Edward after ten long fucking years apart and we had our beautiful daughter.

Before we left we had visited Edward's parents, Esme and Carlisle. I had been so afraid of what they would say, seeing as my disappearing had almost killed their youngest son, but they had listened the same as everyone else. They had been furious with Charlie for what he did. And, just the same as everyone else, they had fallen in love with Toni as soon as they met her.

I sighed happily, snuggling into Edward's arms and kissed his wrist. I still hated that the scars on them had been caused by me. Whenever his wrists were anywhere near my face I kissed them.

I couldn't wait to be finished with this joke of a life and move back to Forks with him and my family.

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We finally landed and got our bags. As soon as we had we went out to find my car in the car park and headed back to the house.

Once we arrived Toni ran to her room and immediately began sorting out her things and packing, whilst Edward and I laughed.

"Toni, we aren't going straight back, baby." I chuckled.

She looked up at me in shock.

"Why not?"

"Because Mommy needs to quit her job here so that she can go work at Grandpa's hospital in Forks. And you need to be enrolled at a new school down there." Edward told her patiently.

"Oh. How long will that take?"

"A couple of weeks."

"Oh."

We sat and watched the telly while Toni played on the floor at our feet. Like me, she didn't seem to want to be more than a foot away from Edward at all times. When he got up to go to the bathroom she followed and waited outside for him and jumped on him the second he stepped out.

My heart felt as though it would burst from joy as I watched them playing on the floor. The sound of them both laughing as Edward pinned Toni to the floor and started tickling her was possibly the most beautiful sound in the world, other than Edward's voice.

I was laughing at the sight of them when I heard a knock at the door.

I got up, leaving them to play to answer it.

I opened it and there stood Jacob.

"Bella." he said. "I saw you were back. You didn't call. I thought you weren't coming home for another two days."

"Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. I totally forgot. Plans changed and we decided to come back sooner."

"Who's that?" he asked, hearing the laughter from the living room.

He walked through the door before I could stop him.

He stepped into the living room and took in the sight before him.

Edward was lying on the floor, trying to pull himself onto the sofa while Toni sat on his legs, tickling his sides. Both were in hysterics. I knew that Edward was very ticklish on his hips, and it seemed that Toni had discovered that.

"Who's he?" Jacob snapped angrily.

I sighed and stepped forwards as Edward and Toni stopped playing. Edward stood up and Toni grabbed his hand. Edward slid his arm around me and pulled me tightly to his side, glaring at Jacob.

"Jacob, this is Edward. Toni's father. Edward, this is Jacob."

"You mean the one you always used as an excuse to not date me?" Jacob hissed.

"Yes Jacob." I said, bitingly. "Because I loved him and only him. And because I never felt that way for you. I'm sorry, but I wasn't going to live a lie for you."

Edward leant down and kissed my forehead and nuzzled into my hair.

"So, you two are together again?"

"Yes." Edward answered. "We are. Well, still together would be more appropriate seeing as we never actually officially split up in the first place."

I smiled up at him and kissed his arm.

"So what, he doing down here?"

I took a deep breath. This wasn't going to go down well.

"Well," I began. "I have a job and a house -"

"And he doesn't I guess? He needs somewhere to live?" he asked nastily.

"Jacob, he's not moving in with us. We're moving in with him. We're moving to Forks."

"You're what?" he snarled. "You haven't had any contact in ten years, you meet up three days ago and you're moving to fucking Forks with him?!"

"Yes Jacob. We're moving to Forks. To be a family at last."

"How do you know that he won't throw you out?"

"Because I love her. I've always loved her and I always will." Edward growled.

_Oooo. Edward growling. I remember that from our youth. I don't think there is a sexier sound in the world than an Edward growl. Yum!_

"Oh, you love her? I bet you didn't stay single for her in the hopes that she'd finally realise that she loves you."

"Actually I did. I haven't dated anyone since Bella. I only ever wanted her. I doubt you could even begin to comprehend just how much I love her." Edward said, growling again.

_Oooo he growled again! Swoon! _

"Yeah right. You may not have dated anyone, but I doubt you've been celibate all these years."

"Yeah. I have. I told you, I only ever wanted Bella."

_He did it again! Someone quick! Knock me out before I jump this man and ravish him!_

"You think I'm gonna believe that?! Like hell y-"

"Jacob! Shut the fuck up!" I yelled, getting annoyed by his behaviour towards my Edward.

Edward pulled me into his arms a stroked my cheek.

"Shhh." he murmured, "Don't worry about it, love. He's just jealous that I get you and he doesn't."

"I've been there for you all these years. Not him. He never came to look for you did he?!"

"Because he had no idea where I was! And because he thought I had left. That I didn't want him!"

"You obviously don't love him that much, seeing as it took you ten years to go back to see him and kept his kid from him all those years."

Before Edward could do anything to stop me, I tore myself from his arms and launched myself at Jacob. I backhanded him across the face with all my strength.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?!" I snarled furiously. "You have no idea what being torn away from Edward did to me! You never saw who I was before so you wouldn't understand how depressed I became! I starved myself, I used to cut myself! It was only when the doctor told me that my behaviour was going to harm my baby that I snapped myself out of it! Toni is the only reason I'm still alive! Do you really think it had anything to do with you? Do you really think that some silly little boy who was two years younger than me had any impact on me whatsoever?! I had been forced to the other side of the country from my boyfriend. I was dragged away from the love of my life! My soul mate! All my life, ever since I was a baby, Edward had been my reason for living! Can your little brain even _begin_ to comprehend what it feels like to have that taken away from you?! Because I left without a word, without contacting Edward, I was certain that he would hate me. That he would never want me back. I wanted to die because of that! The only thing that saved me from doing something stupid was my unborn baby! My one link to Edward. My only reminder of the life I should have had!"

I took a deep breath after my long speech, before continuing.

"I finally got the courage to go back, though I never thought I'd meet my old friends. I was so sure that they would have all left by then. So yeah, I didn't go back sooner. I couldn't go back until I was eighteen, and by then everyone would have started college and left the town. I don't know why I didn't just suck it up and go back. The only reason I can give you is that I was a coward. I was terrified that I would get back and Edward would have move on from me. That I'd see him happy with another girl. I finally got the courage and I found everyone still there. They were all angry at me, but they listened to what I had to tell them and they forgave me. _Edward_ forgave me. So I'm sorry, but I've finally got the chance to have what I've wanted ever since we started dating when we were thirteen. And I'm going to take it."

I let out a deep, shuddering breath and the tears started to fall.

I felt Edward's strong hands grab my shoulders from behind and he spun me around and crushed me to his chest.

I clutched his shirt in my hands and sobbed.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Shhh. Baby, don't be silly. I understand. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I love you Bella. I love you more than anything." Edward whispered to me.

As he held me I saw his head snap up to look at Jacob. Or rather to glare at Jacob.

"I don't know who you think you are," he hissed, "but nothing gives you the right to speak to my Bella like that."

"Oh, she's _your_ Bella is she?"

"Yeah. She is. She always has been. Even when we were kids, before we started dating, she was always my Bella. And she always will be, so back the hell off."

I moved my hand from gripping his shirt and stroked his chest gently.

He looked down at me, and the anger in his eyes softened. He smiled down at me softly and brushed the back of his hand against my cheek.

I felt a smaller hand reach up and touch my elbow.

_Toni!_

I had completely forgotten that she was in the room. She had heard everything. She knew that I hadn't wanted to live. That I had been forced away from everything I loved. That I had been a coward and not gone back. That she could have known her daddy for the past six years if I had just gone back as soon as I was 18!

_God she's going to hate me. I never wanted her to know just how badly not being with Edward affected me._

Edward bent down and lifted her up into his arms. He shifted her to his side and supported her with one arm, while wrapping the other back around my waist and pulling me to him so that my back was to his chest.

Toni put her hand on my shoulder and lent out from Edward's side to slide her little arms around my neck.

"Love you Momma." she whispered to me.

I had to fight back the sob that threatened to escape me at her words. Edward dipped his head and pressed his lips to my forehead. I sighed happily and snuggled into him tighter. I felt him nuzzle into my hair.

Jacob stood on the other side of the sofa shaking with fury.

"You fucking bitch. All this time I've waited. All this time I've been the one here for you. And then you ditch me for this bastard?!" he roared as he took a step forwards.

Edward passed Toni to me and then pushed me behind him.

"Get out." he said, his voice low and deadly. "Bella has done nothing wrong. She hasn't led you on and she hasn't lied to you."

Jacob took another step and opened his mouth to speak. But Edward cut him off, standing his ground.

"I think you've said all you need to. Now get out. Get away from my Bella and my daughter."

"You think that just because you've been in their lives for three days that you can tell me to get out of _Bella's_ house? I've been part of Bella's live for the past ten years."

"And I was part of her life for fifteen years before that. And, considering that Bella is my girlfriend and Toni is my daughter, yeah. I do think that I can tell you to get out. Even if it is Bella's house. I get to tell you to get out because you threatened my Bella and made her cry. No one makes Bella cry when I'm around. I don't take too kindly to people upsetting my girl. Never did. So, I'll tell you once more; get out. Before I make you."

His voice was so low and serious that Jacob couldn't deny that he meant what he said.

"Like you could take me. She will realise that she's better off with me. Just wait." he scoffed, before turning and walking out of the living room. I winced as I heard the front door slam.

Edward turned back to me and tugged me into his arms.

God I was tired. I just wanted to sleep. I did love Jacob. Not in the way he wanted me to, but I did care about him. He had looked out for me ever since we met, and he had always looked after me and Toni. I never wanted to fall out with him, but he knew how much I loved Edward. I had told him so many times. Did he really think that I would ever choose him if I got a chance to be with Edward again?

I sighed and rested my head on Edward's chest as he ran his hands up and down my back. Today had been so wonderful. Seeing Edward playing with Toni had been the most amazing sight in the world. Jacob had just messed it all up. Maybe things would be better in the morning.

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**Sorry it took so long for this chappie to be put up! I've had a bit of writer's block the last few days. It's been interfering with my other story and also my book. Damn writer's block. It's such a rat-bastard. Oh well. I think it's cleared up now! Heehee!**

**Btw, if you haven't already, please check out my other Twilight fic, The Path to Enlightenment. I'm kinda pissed cos after a week, this story had about 20 odd reviews, but Enlightenment only has about 9. :( Please read and review both. Pretty please? I'll love you all forever.... :D **

**~Ruusu.**


	14. Author Note!

**Author Note!**

**Ok guys, this is gonna be pretty much the only author note that I will do separate from chapters. This is very important though. I do not wish to confuse my readers, but I decided to change my pen name from Ruusu, to ULTRAnumb. Please forgive me for any confusion or inconvenience. I just didn't want to be Ruusu anymore. I am sick of overusing it and needed a change. Also, ULTRAnumb....it just sounds soooo much more awesome, don't ya think?! LOL!**

**Also, I have a twitter page for people to follow. If, for whatever reason, I am unable to update a story when I am supposed to, instead of leaving an author's note and pissing everyone off by making them think it is a new chappie, I will be posting it on there. You can find my page at https://twitter(dot)com/ULTRAnumb**

**Thanks guys, again, sorry for any confusion.**

**- ULTRAnumb, (formally, Ruusu.) **


	15. Whose to Blame & Strangers

**So sorry that this chappie took so long to be done! I've been a bit busy the past couple of weeks and haven't had much time to write. Again, really sorry. Next chappie will be up ASAP!**

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**E POV**

After the twat Jacob left, I sat Bella down while I sorted out something for our dinner. I knew she needed a few minutes to calm down after all that. As I cooked, I watched Toni cuddling up to Bella and just sitting with her quietly. It was still so strange to think that I had a daughter.

I had missed Bella more than anything since she had left. Having her come back had been like a dream come true. But seeing the ring on her finger had been like a nightmare. When she told me that it was my ring, the ring I had given her all those years before, had been amazing. To know that she had never forgotten me or moved on had made me feel as though I could truly breathe for the first time in ten years.

I sighed and dished up dinner.

Toni came into the kitchen to help set the table.

"Momma's really upset, Daddy. She's just staring at the wall."

"Ok baby. You finish setting the table and start eating. I'll go talk t her ok?"

"Ok."

I smiled at how good our daughter was and kissed her forehead.

I walked out of the kitchen and went to Bella.

She was sitting on the sofa staring at the wall.

"Bella? Sweetie, are you ok?"

"Huh?" she asked, snapping out of her trance.

I knelt down in front of her and held her hands.

"Are you alright?"

"I don't know."

"Come and have something to eat, love."

"Ok." she said slowly.

I held out my hand for her and helped her to her feet.

I led her into the kitchen where Toni was already eating.

We ate in silence, though I barely let go of Bella's hand the whole time.

When we were finished I quickly cleared up before getting Toni ready for bed. Just as she was about to get into bed, she suddenly leapt back to the floor and ran out of the door. I followed and watched as she flung herself into Bella's arms.

"Love you, Momma."

Bella sighed and wrapped her arms around Toni's little waist and kissed her hair.

"Love you too, baby."

They hugged for a couple of minutes before saying goodnight.

Toni ran back to the door where I stood and grabbed my hand.

I took her back to her bedroom and helped her get into bed.

She reached out her small arms for a hug and I happily obliged. I pulled my little daughter into my arms and held her tightly.

"It's my fault you and Momma weren't together, isn't it? And it's my fault that Momma was so sad and didn't want to live anymore."

"No, Toni. It isn't. It was her father and her aunt's fault. It wasn't you're fault baby. You didn't do anything wrong. Don't blame yourself over this."

"But if I hadn't been born, you and Momma would have still been together all these years! You'd be married and have other babies and be happy!"

"No." I said sharply. "None of this is your fault, Antonia. Don't you dare blame yourself. Please baby. Believe me. None of this was your fault. Not in the slightest."

"Ok." She still looked sad though, so I pulled her tighter against me.

"Neither me or Momma blame you. And we never will. We love you, baby."

"Love you too Daddy."

"Good. Now, try and get some sleep. It's been a long day and we all need a rest I think."

"Ok Daddy." she yawned. "Night Daddy."

"Sleep tight, princess."

I pulled the door to as I left and walked back to Bella.

"Come on, angel. You need to sleep."

"Yeah."

She stood up and followed me to her bedroom. Bella went to the bathroom to wash while I changed for bed.

After a few minutes I heard the bathroom door open and headed into the hallway.

As I passed her I kissed her hair and stroked her cheek with the back of my hand.

My girl was sad and I hated it. I'd always hated seeing her sad. It made me pretty angry when someone had made her upset. It wasn't so bad if she was just having an off day.

I sighed and washed my face and brushed my teeth before walking back into Bella's bedroom.

She was staring at her reflection in the mirror. I walked over to her and slid my arms around her waist, resting my chin on her shoulder.

"Come to bed, baby."

I took her hand and lead her over to the bed and pulled the covers back for her.

She crawled into bed and I climbed in beside her.

As soon as I lay down she rolled over and snuggled into my side.

"I'm so sorry" she whispered.

"What for, love?"

"For today. For Jacob."

"Sweetie, it wasn't your fault."

"I know, but I should have handled it better. I should have spoken to him before he came round. I can't believe he said those things."

"It isn't your fault. Damn, I feel like a stuck record today. I've said that to Toni several times tonight already!"

"Said what to her?"

"That it isn't her fault. She's still blaming herself for us being separated."

"Oh. I wish she hadn't heard any of that. I forgot she was even there. And last time when she followed me to yours and heard me trying to explain to you...."

"I know. But think of it this way, if she hadn't followed you and then run away, I might not have given you are chance to explain, and we'd both still be alone and still have broken hearts."

"Yeah, I suppose." She gave me a sad smile.

"But still...she's too young to hear that her mom to kill herself. No kid should have to hear that."

"No, but then she also heard you say that she was the reason you survived. I think that makes things a little better, don't you?"

She laughed softly and nuzzled against my shoulder.

"You always did have a messed up way of looking at things, honey!"

I laughed and pulled her tighter against me.

"Yeah, I did. It's called optimism!"

Bella sighed softly.

"What is it, baby?"

"I just...I still can't believe that Jake reacted the way he did. I mean, I never wanted to hurt him, but I've turned him down so many times. He just doesn't seem to take the hint. But still....he's been a good friend all these years. I thought he would be happy for me. You know, to finally see me being happy. That was one of the few times he's ever seen me smile, and every other time has been because of Toni. I thought he would be glad to see me smiling over something else."

"I know baby. But I understand why he wouldn't be. If he loves about you even half as much as I do, then he would just be worried about you getting hurt. And we have been apart a long time. For him, the reason you were so sad all these years was because of me."

"But it wasn't! I was s-"

"I know, I know. But the way he sees it, is that it was my fault you were sad."

"Oh."

"Come on beautiful. Don't worry about it tonight. If he does love you and values your friendship, he'll come round eventually."

"I hope so. He's been so good to me and Toni over the years. I don't want to lose his friendship..."

I kissed her gently and stroked a piece of hair from her face.

"I love you so much Bella. You know that right?"

"I know" she murmured, smiling up at me. "I love you too. Just so damned much."

I pulled her to me and kissed her with as much love and passion as I could.

I sighed as I felt her hands move to my hair. Even after all this time I still loved it when she did that.

I ran my hands lightly down her sides, grazing the swell of her breasts as I went, until I reached her waist. I wrapped my hands around her hips and pulled her to me as hard as I could.

I couldn't get over the feel of having her in my arms again.

It felt as though we had never been apart.

We gasped as we finally pulled apart, both struggling for breath.

I knew that I didn't want to go any further yet. We had, after all, been apart for ten years, and though it felt as though we hadn't, I knew we still needed to go slowly. At least in some aspects. As much as I had missed her, it wasn't the sex that I had missed most. It had been her. My best friend. We had never needed to sleep together to prove our love for each other. Sure we had enjoyed it, of course we had, but it was never what our relationship had been about. I guess that came from being best friends all our lives.

As I gazed into her eyes, I knew that she felt exactly the same as me.

We kissed again, this time slower, before we snuggled down beside one another to sleep.

It felt so good to hold Bella as I slept. Since the night we had gotten back together, she and Toni had been staying at mine, and I had held Bella as I slept every night. I would never grow tired of her being in my arms.

The last thing I heard before I fell asleep was a sleepy whisper from Bella.

"You know," she murmured, "that whole growling at Jacob thing earlier was soooo damn sexy."

I chuckled softly and kissed her silky hair one last time before sleep claimed me.

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I woke up to the sound of someone banging on Bella's front door.

"Urgh." I heard her grumble from my arms. "Too early."

"I'll get it baby. It might be Jacob."

"Urgh. Don't get into a fight. Is too early to be pulling you two apart."

I laughed and stretched, pulling myself away from her grudgingly.

I grabbed my jeans from the floor and pulled them on.

I opened the door, rubbing sleep from my eyes.

Standing on the other side was a man with dark blonde hair and cold blues eyes.

"Can I help you?" I asked curiously.

"Who the fuck are you?!" he spat angrily.

"Edward." I replied tensely. "And you are?"

"Where's Bella?"

"Still in bed. Why?"

"Just fucking get her."

I didn't like the way he spoke.

"Not until you tell me who you are and why you are here."

He scoffed and me and looked me up and down.

"Fine. I'm James. I'm Bella's boyfriend."

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Ummmmm.....oppsie??!! LOL!**

**So, what did ya think of that chappie, my loves?**

**Good? Bad...Complete shit???**

**(Hopefully not the last one!)**

**Well...*ahem***

**Yes.**

**Next chappie should be up in a few days. I can't wait! Can you?**

**~ ULTRAnumb (aka, Ruusu)**


	16. Lies! Lies and Slander!

**Hahaha! I love the responses to the last chapter! Now you get to see what I was setting up for!**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**B POV**

Edward and I were woken by the sound of someone banging on the front door.

"Urgh." I grumbled snuggling tighter into his arms. "Too early."

"I'll get it baby. It might be Jacob."

"Urgh. Don't get into a fight. Is too early to be pulling you two apart."

I heard him laugh as he stretched and slid out of bed.

I listened as he padded down the hall and unlocked the front door.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

I yawned and pulled myself from the bed.

After pulling on my dressing gown, I traipsed after Edward.

As I walked into the hall I caught the end of the conversation he was having with whoever was at the door.

"Not until you tell me who you are and why you are here."

"Fine. I'm James. I'm Bella's boyfriend."

_Shit! James! Oh god, I forgot all about him!_

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I rushed to the front door and reached out for Edward.

"Edward, sweetie."

He pulled his arm away from me and turned to look at me.

He looked so hurt and confused.

"Boyfriend?" he whispered brokenly.

"Baby, I completely forgot. I was going to tell you -"

He cut me off angrily, "You _forgot_ that you had a boyfriend?"

"No! I mean -"

"What Bella? What do you mean? You told me that you never moved on! And then what? The day after I come back with you, I get up to answer the door, to be told that you have a boyfriend? How -"

I decided it was my turn to cut him off, "I don't!"

"Don't what?"

"I don't have a boyfriend!"

"Hello, I'm standing right here Bella." James said gruffly.

"I think I've heard all I need to." Edward snarled, looking heartbroken.

He pushed past me and walked back up the stairs.

"Edward!" I cried, running after him.

When I reached my room, I saw that him pulling on a shirt.

"Edward -"

"Don't." he hissed.

He then grabbed his bag and started shoving his things back into it.

"What are you doing?" I gasped.

"I'm leaving, what does it look like?"

"No! Edward, please! Let me explain!"

"What is there to explain?! You lied! You've got a boyfriend!"

"No! I don't!"

"How can you -"

"He isn't my boyfriend!"

Edward spun to face me, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Then who the hell is he?!"

I couldn't answer. The second I saw his face, I couldn't say anything. He looked so lost and afraid.

"If he isn't your boyfriend, why didn't you say so downstairs?"

"I was in shock! I didn't expect to see him!"

"You mean you didn't think I'd find out?"

"NO!" I yelled. I strode forward and pushed him back to the bed. Once he sat down I knelt in front of him and grabbed his hands.

"Edward, he isn't my boyfriend. He is nothing. Do you hear me? Nothing!"

"Then why was that pretty much all he said?"

"Edward, I went out on one date with James because he helped me out of some trouble. After that, we never went out again. He just seems to have gotten it into his head that we are dating."

He still looked doubtful.

"Edward, ya see this?" I asked, lifting my left hand and showing him my promise ring. "This," I waved it in his face, "symbolises that I love you. And that I. Am. Yours. Only yours. Edward, I didn't say anything about James because I completely forgot. He means nothing to me. Honestly? He kinda creeps me out. I only love you. I only want you."

I let go of his hands and took his face in my hands.

"Edward, I love you. I would never lie to you. Especially about something like this."

He looked straight into my eyes before he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him.

"I'm so sorry. I 'm so sorry I just believed him. I'm just so scared that this is all a dream and that I'm going to lose you again!"

"You aren't going to lose me, baby. I'm here. I'm here and I am never, ever, leaving you again. Never."

I pulled away from him slightly and kissed him with everything I had.

"I love you, Edward Cullen. Always have, always will."

"I love you too, Bella. So much, baby."

I clung to him like he was my life line. I had barely survived all these years apart, and now I finally had him back.

"BELLA!" we heard James scream from downstairs.

Edward growled in anger and annoyance (he really needs to stop doing that if he expects me to not start raping him!) and stood up. I held onto his arm tightly as we walked back down stairs.

Edward held me against him as we stood in front of James.

James glared at Edward's arm around my waist.

"Who the fuck is this?" he snarled.

"This is Edward. My boyfriend."

"Your boyfriend? You mean you're cheating on me?!"

"You need to actually be in a relationship to be cheating on someone, James. We have never dated."

"The hell we haven't! We've been together for six months."

"No James. We went on one date, and I made it clear that it was a thank you rather than an actual date."

"You lying bitch!" he screamed lunging at me.

Edward pushed me behind him and shielded me from James attack.

"Get the fuck out of my way, asshole. This has nothing to do with you!"

"Actually, it has everything to do with me, seeing as it's my girlfriend you are trying to attack."

James glared at me viciously.

"You'll pay for this you fucking whore. Just you wait."

With that he turned on his heel and stormed towards the front door.

"Hey, kid." I heard him say as he left the room.

Toni came running past him without looking at him and hid behind Edward.

He leant down and hoisted her into his arms and sat her on his hip. He wrapped the other arm around me and held me tight to his side.

James turned to look at us; Edward with one arm around me and Toni in the other, and grinned menacingly before walking into the hall. We heard the front door slam, and heard his snarl "Whore" once more.

Edward was grinding his teeth and breathing heavily.

I locked my arms tightly around his waist and turned into him.

"Is James going to stop coming around?" Toni queried.

"I hope so, baby girl." I murmured.

"Good. I don't like him." She turned to look up at Edward and slid her skinny arms around his neck. "He scares me. He always yells and swears at Mommy. And he always tells me to be quiet and go to my room."

"Don't worry, angel. He won't be anymore. I won't let him near you and Mommy ever again. I promise."

"Good." Toni and I answered at the same time.

"Jinx!" Toni giggled. "Now you can't talk until someone says your name five times!"

I turned to smile at Edward.

"Don't, Daddy! She used that to make me not talk for an hour! While we were watching Monty Python! I wasn't even allowed to laugh!"

I smiled up at him with the sexiest look I could muster and bit my lip, knowing how much he loved it when I did that.

By now he had put Toni down and she was standing on the sofa, so I leant up and nuzzled into Edward's neck and started kissing a trail up to his ear. Once I reached his ear I nibbled on it lightly, knowing full well that he would do anything I asked. He could never deny me when I did that to him.

"Uh...sorry, kid. I've gone to long without hearing Mommy speak."

"Noooo!" Toni wailed, though she was still giggling and smiling.

Edward gave her an apologetic look and seemed as though he was going to reconsider, so I gave his ear a sharp nip. That got him speaking.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella."

I'm glad Toni was busy telling him off. It meant she missed the fact that he all but moaned my name.

I smirked and kissed him full on the lips.

"Thank you, baby." I cooed.

"Now, you." I said pointing at Toni. "No standing on the sofa."

She poked her tongue out at me but got off the sofa anyway. By jumping onto Edward's back and tickling him for betraying her.

I smiled as I watched them.

Now that the whole thing with James was over, we could finally start being a family.

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Ha! See, I messed with your minds!**

**She was never with James. He was just deluded.**

**Shame on you all for thinking that I would actually have Bella dating James!**

**LOL!**

**Anyway, what did you think my sweetie-pies?**

**As always, please review, I really do live for that shit!**

**(Btw, the title of this chappie is something one of my friends always says if you insult him! LOL!)**

**~ ULTRAnumb **


	17. Reconnecting & Reaffirming

**Gah. Sorry I haven't updated in months! University has been nuts lately!**

**I have been trying to get time to write, but I never do.**

**Well, I hope this chappie is worth the wait darlings!**

* * *

**B POV**

It had been just over a week since we had been back in Orlando. I had handed in my resignation at work and was getting Toni into a school in Forks.

Everything was perfect. James hadn't bothered us again.

I loved waking up with Edward. It just felt so right to fall asleep in his arms and wake up in the same place.

Edward was an amazing father. I had always known he would have been. He was so good at everything else, why not parenting too?

Seeing them together, I realised just how alike they really were.

Edward told me that she was just as stubborn as me, but that was as far as the similarities went, I thought. She was a double of Edward in every way. She looked unbelievably like him and acted like him even more!

Edward had even been getting up before me, letting me lie in while he got Toni ready for school. He said he wanted to try and start making up for the nine years he'd been absent in her life.

* * *

I woke up on the eighth day in my bed alone. I looked over at my alarm clock and saw that it was after nine. Toni would be at school by now, and Edward would just be getting back.

I sighed and lay back down. I couldn't wait for Edward to get back. As much as I loved seeing him with Toni, I loved having him to myself occasionally.

I continued to lie on bed, listening for the front door to open.

_I can't believe how easy it's been to be with Edward again. It's almost as though we've never been apart!_

I knew the last part of my thought wasn't completely true. In some ways, it did feel like that, but I knew that Edward was still hurt by the fact that I didn't go back sooner. He told me that he understood why I was afraid to go back, and I knew he meant it, but it still hurt him that I had felt as though he would hate me.

More than that though, I knew he was terrified of losing me again. I just had to prove to him that I was never leaving him again.

I heard my key in the front door then, and pushed all thoughts from my mind, and snuggled back down into the covers, on my stomach, and pretended to be asleep.

"Bella?" I heard Edward murmur softly.

I let out a soft snore, keeping up the pretence of being asleep.

"Bella, love?"

I felt the bed shift as he sat down.

"Bella. Hmmm."

_Uh oh. Never a good thing when Edward Cullen says "Hmmm." It always means he is planning something. Damn._

I lay as still and relaxed as possible, waiting to see what he was planning.

Maybe he would pull the covers off. Or tickle me.

I felt the bed shift again as he stood up. I heard rustling and wondered what on earth he was up to.

The covers moved slightly, and the other side of the bed dipped.

His arm wound around my waist, and he pulled me back into him. I tried to hold back my moan as I felt his bare chest connect with my back, where my top had ridden up. His hand trailed down my side, and his hand wrapped around my hip when he reached it. His lips started leaving a trail of warm, wet kisses down my spine and across my shoulders. I bit my lip so hard I was sure it would split right open.

"Bella." he breathed gently.

He trailed his finger tips up and down my side and kissed up the side of my neck.

"Bella" he breathed again, kissing higher on my neck.

His lips found my ear, and he sucked on it softly, his tongue flicking it gently.

I fought against the shiver that wanted to rip through me.

I wasn't going to let him win.

He moved his lips to the edge of my jaw and dragged his teeth softly along it.

_Ohhhhhh good lord!_

"Mmmm…..Bella. Love the taste of your skin." Edward drawled.

_Hmmm….I love the taste of yours too, but I'm not gonna tell ya right now._

He moved his mouth again, this time to the middle of my throat, as he lent over me.

"I love your neck. So soft and creamy. Could lick your neck all day."

_Hummmm…..uhhh…still not answering!!!!_

"If you talk, I'll kiss your collar bone….I know how much you like that."

_Mehhhhh…nope. No go, baby. But….damn._

He licked the entire length of my neck. Right from my shoulder to my ear.

"Hmmm. So yummy. But still…..not as yummy as other places….."

_Oh lordy, lordy. No. Noooooo. Won't….give…in….you….can't…..make….me!_

"Your breasts are much yummier. But not so yummy as your stomach…."

_Uhhhh….brain no compute. Brain turn to mush for oh so sexy words……._

"Hmmm, Bella. Wanna kiss you, and lick you _all_ over" he whispered.

_Gah…..now that right there was unbelievably sexy._

"Can I, baby? Can I kiss and lick you everywhere?" he asked

_Ohhhhhh….hubba hubba hubba hubba….._

"Hmmm? Would you like that, love? Would you writhe underneath me if I licked every inch of your gorgeous body?"

_Humanah humanh ….damn…. you…sexy……man!_

He ran his hands back down to my hips and pulled me hard against him. He nipped at my ear again. And again. And again. And then……he growled. And that's all she wrote.

I spun around in his arms and threw myself at him, flinging him onto his back. I kissed him greedily, while I ran my hands down his perfect chest.

He chuckled against my mouth and pulled away from me slightly.

"Knew you wouldn't be able to resist a growl."

He smirked up at me. So I kissed that devilish smirk right of his face.

We clung to one another, kissing wildly, tossing and turning, both of us getting totally worked up. Somehow in the midst of our kissing, he had managed to get my top off me. It always used to amaze me when he did that. He was like a frickin' clothes Houdini!

"Edward." I gasped. "Please."

He pulled away from me slightly and stared into my eyes.

"Please." I whispered, stroking his cheek.

"Right now?" he asked, "You're ready?"

"More than ready. I love you. I love you so much."

He leant back down and kissed me again, while he slowly pulled my shorts down my legs.

I smiled up at him and he smiled back, as he pressed his body back to mine.

* * *

I sighed happily as Edward collapsed onto his back, and draped myself over his chest.

"Wow." Was all I could think to say.

Edward chuckled above me.

"Yeah. 'Wow' just about sums it up."

I smiled and kissed his chest.

He ran his fingers through my tangled hair and slid his other arm around my back, holding me to him.

I sighed happily again and snuggled into his side.

"Bella?" Edward murmured a few minutes later.

"Hmmm?" I hummed contentedly.

"Do you know anyone who'd look after Toni one night this week?"

"I'm not sure. Why?"

"I want to take you out for dinner. Spend a night together. Don't get me wrong, I love being a family and being with Toni….I just thought it would be nice to get some time alone occasionally."

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing earlier. I love watching you and Toni together, but I love having you all to myself now and then." I grinned up at him and kissed him softly. "A colleague of mine has a 16 year old daughter who's looked after her a couple of times before, when I've had to stay at work late. I could ask her if she would be able to watch her one night this week?"

"That sounds great." he said, smiling down at me and pulling me up his body so he could kiss me passionately.

_Well, I think I know what we're going to spend our day doing!_

* * *

**Boo yah! **

**Two chappies out in one night! (albeit one new chappie for two stories, but still! LOL!)**

**Oh well.**

**Hope you liked this chappie darlings!**

**Please let me know what you thought!**

**~ULTRAnumb**


	18. Bollocks!

Fuuuuuuuuuck!

I am such a terrible person guys.

It has been soooooooooooo long since I wrote anything. I'm soooooooo sorry guys! (if anyone still bothers to even look at these) Basically, life sucks and my muse sucks even harder. I WILL, I swear I WIILL, continue all my stories soon.

I have ONE problem though. All the notes I had for them are on my laptop. And it won't log in. Fuck. So, due to how long it's been, I actually can't remember where they are going. Or in some cases, I kinda can, but can't remember any of the filler ideas I had. I either need to get my laptop working again, or try and re-write them after what I have. Or maybe entirely…. Not sure. Hm. I'll let you know. All I can say is, I WILL start writing again. I love my stories, and I so want to finish them. I hope you can all understand, and that you all forgive me. Almost three years. Fuck. I'm SO sorry to all the wonderful people who read and reviewed them all. I only hope I can do you all proud one day with them. xxx

~ ULTRAnumb xxx


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